Happy Birthday Kendall!!!

Today Kendall turned 3, I still cant believe my little girl is 3!!! She is growing up so fast!!!! Next thing I know she will be in school and I will only have my little Hayley at home to snuggle. We didn't do much today for her birthday. She got her birthday pancakes, a yummy dinner and cake of course. Last Saturday we went to the Pretend City Children's Museum, it was fun!!! The girls had a blast. And not this weekend but the following weekend we are having a bonfire beach party for her :) My friend Kristi said it best, she is getting 3 parties for being 3, hahaha. Good thing she wont remember having three parties at three or she might expect the same number of parties to years each year, can you imagine her sixteenth? Haha

A Year Has Passed......

A whole year has gone by since my brother passed away and it still hurts so damn bad!!!! I keep thinking back to last year, getting that phone call from my Aunt and feeling like I was going to die myself. I remember Cassie sitting next to me on our stairs asking why I was sad and she told me "God is good mom, He will send Uncle Justin back here so we don't have to be sad anymore". I wish that was true!!!! I just don't know if the pain will ever go away. I have to admit, I am pretty dang good at hiding my feelings (I know it is not a good thing), but I have been able to push this so far down and not deal with it but today little by little it is flooding out and it hurts so much. I really don't understand still, I just don't know what to do.

I love the beach!!!

After Cass got home from school and Will got home from work, we all headed up to Long Beach to have dinner with my mom. She made an amazing chicken cacciatore, she says she has forgotten how to cook but I beg to differ, it was yummy!!!! The girls loved being at her new place, they were so comfortable there!!! And after dinner, we went a couple yards from my moms place and walked along the beach. Long Beach has a nice bike/pedestrian path, we walked quite a long ways, I think it was so pretty watching the sunset and feeling the breeze we didn't realize we had gone so far. After the walk we had to go back home to get Cass to bed, morning comes way too early on school days!!!!! I am excited to go back though on the weekend sometime and get to see more of downtown!!!!

New home and some progress!!

This past weekend I helped my mom move into her new place in Long Beach. She has a cute apartment that sits right on the beach, it is gorgeous down there!!!!! I am excited to get to see Long Beach now, I think the only time I have ever been there was to take Cass to the aquarium when she was 1, haha. And I really want to go to the Queen Mary!!!! Will was awesome watching the girls for me too, he had them for over 24 hours, needless to say, he got numerous texts from me, I am not good leaving the kiddos, lol, poor guy :)

I also had a meeting with Cassidy's teacher and the assistant principal yesterday. Cass has been sick a lot so she really hasn't been at school but the days she has been there, I guess things are better between her and her bully. And I found out, the girl who is doing the bullying isn't only doing it to Cass. The teacher mentioned the "talk" the assistant principal had with this little girl last week isn't really sinking in too well and she might have to have another with her. I just don't understand how one little girl can be so mean, she is so small, I never thought one could be so evil that young!!!!

Anyways, I am off to Long Beach again to see my mom today, Cass is super excited to finally see Grandma's new place :)

A New Phase In Life Begins

I never thought I would be sitting here writing about my sick child, it really bothers me. This past Saturday morning, Cassidy got up early so we could take her and my mom to the airport to go visit my sister and her kids. Cass came to sit on my lap so I could snuggle her and before I knew it, her whole body got super stiff and her head slowly started turning towards me. Her eyes were glazed over and halfway back in her head and she was making this weird noise. I thought she was doing something weird at first, just messing around but I suddenly realized, my baby isn't breathing!!!!!!! I screamed "Oh my God, she isn't breathing" and as those words came out of my mouth, she started having a seizure. My mom came rushing in and Will ran over, they got her to floor. I left the room to go call 911 and my mom stayed in the living room with her. The seizure lasted for about 2 minutes and then she laid there, not moving and completely "lost", she wouldn't respond to anyone. It seemed like the ambulance took forever to get to the house and once they did, they took her vitals and next thing I knew, we were in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. They hooked her to an iv, took blood and gave her a cat scan there. Then we were transferred to the Children's Hospital of Orange County (CHOC). After an EEG, an MRI plus the neurologist bringing on another seizure, it was determined that she has Epilepsy. She is doing ok, she is on meds two times a day and we are having to put restrictions on some activities. I am completely freaked out and wanting to wake up from this. I keep thinking, my beautiful healthy little girl doesn't have Epilepsy, there is no way!!!! I am scared for the future, scared of this disease!!!!!!!!!

Nothing New

I feel so bad for not posting but things are really boring around here, haha, and I doubt you want to read a whole lot of nothing! We have just been staying around the house for the most part, taking the girls to the park and walking to the beach. Its fun but nothing to write home about. A couple of weeks ago we went to the Cypress Community Festival and got to see my cousins Michael and Jessica perform. They are so talented, I want to cry every time I see them!!!!! That same weekend we went to Bolsa Chica and had a beach day with my family, it was a lot of fun. And tomorrow we are heading up to Big Bear to go camping, woo hoo!!!! I have never been camping so I am a little nervous and don't know what to expect but I am told I will have a ton of fun :) So, the next post will probably have a lot more in it :) Thanks for sticking around to read this one though :)

It's Been Awhile!!!!

I really need to get better at posting blogs!!!!! Lets see, since the last time I posted not too much has happened. Cassidy had her yearly check-up at the doc and she is doing fabulously!!! She is 44 pounds and 45 inches. The doc did mention however that she is very "loose". He held her arm and shook it for us and her hand and everything just seemed to flop everywhere. He said in kids where their muscles are loose, they can get worse growing pains than other kids. Not a big deal, I guess we just give her tums at night if she complains about being sore or hurting in her legs and such. I just feel bad, she has complained sometimes that her legs hurt, it seems to be when we are out shopping or just walking around and I always thought she just wanted to take Kendall's place in the stroller or because she wasn't having fun, now I feel bad that she could have really truly been hurting, that made me feel like the worst mom in the world. She also had a dentist appointment and she has her very first cavity. We took her back 2 days later to have it filled......that didn't go so well. After the shot to numb her, she refused to open her mouth or lay back in the chair. So, we had to reschedule for later this month and supposedly they will be giving her a special drink that knocks her out a little, we will see how that goes. Kendall went to the dentist as well but she is fine, has perfect little teeth. Hayley is getting chubbier every day it seems and she is smiling and cooing a lot more as well, she is such a little angel baby!!!! I got my haircut, woo hoo. Allie (my friends sister) did an amazing job, it is short in the back, maybe 1/2 inch below the nape of my neck and it angles down and hangs on my shoulders in the front. She also did blonde highlights and I feel fantastic. I don't do the style as well as she does but I feel like I look 10 times better than before. Nothing new with Will really, just back to work, coming up on a some field time which means he is gone for a bit, but not too long. Now, lets see if I can keep up with this blog :)