Protecting Your Child

These past couple of weeks have been crazy.  Not only am I now enrolled in school 4 days a week, an hour from home (which makes for a long night of driving with sleepy kids), but I have had to go to battle with my middle child's school.  I never thought I would ever have to battle for my child in this way and it makes me sick to think that this kind of thing can happen.  My mom always told me growing up that I like to see the good in people too much and that I need to wake up to the reality that not everyone is good and to think the worst before the best.  I never took her advice because seriously, who wants to walk around all the time thinking the worst in the human race, isn't it better to think the best in people and then if the worst happens, you deal with it as such?  These last 2 weeks have truly tested me.

Without going into too much detail, my middle child was put in a first grade class with a teacher that I was warned about from the beginning.  She is tough, most kids and parents don't like her and she is "an acquired taste".  I decided to try it out without worrying too much, maybe I would be the 1% who actually liked her.  Little did I know how wrong I would be.  It started out with notes every single day explaining my child's bad behavior and how she was not "good".  It then went to threats if work was not done, to her denying her snack, keeping her in from recess, it just kept getting worse.  I got a call one day from the Vice Principal saying that she had her in the office because she had "hit 2 kids".  She said "she hit 2 kids, well, not hit, she was actually just swinging her arms and accidentally hit two kids while doing that".  I get that hitting kids no matter how it is done is wrong but they had her escorted from the playground and yelled at her in the office.  For accidentally swinging her arms into 2 kids??  I told them I appreciate them telling her that is wrong but shouldn't the lesson be that you need to be more aware of your surroundings and not punishment for "fighting" (fighting was the word they used on the slip they sent home that I refused to sign until it was fixed).  They said they agree it is not fighting but had to deal with her in such.  And who was at the center of it all?  Her lovely teacher.  After speaking to the principal I was told I need to make another conference (this would be the second one) with the teacher to talk.  When I went to her classroom she was so rude and disrespectful toward me.  I decided that was enough.  I would not be getting anywhere with this lady.  I promptly waked to the office, explained my feelings and asked that she be transferred to another class.  I was met with such hostility, refusal to help me or my child and then it got worse.  I had been on my facebook page (which is private) and had told of the situation to ask my friends how to deal with this.  Little did I know that one of my "friends" loved this teacher and decided to call her to let her know I was bullying her online and saying horrible things about her.  The funny thing is, I was only explaining what had happened to my 6 year old child and if that is taken as "saying horrible things", then maybe the teacher should not be doing these horrible things.  The school was upset that I would do such a thing to this teacher.  Are you kidding me?  She is bullying my child, not the other way around.  After a week of absence and numerous talks with the super intendant, we finally got her transferred to another class.  It was not without them letting me know how cruel I am and how it is the child, not the teacher who has done wrong and that will be proven when she starts her new class and nothing changes.  Well, it has been a week and I feel like pointing out that her week has been fabulous.  Her teacher is amazing, she absolutely loves my child and vice versa.  She has had nothing but nice things to say and one time she said them in the presence of the other teacher who stood arms crossed with a pissed off look on her face. 

I think ti is ridiculous that schools are supposed to be a safe place for kids to go and yet hey allow people like this women to bully them and hurt them emotionally.  They were so quick to defend this woman even hen I had written statements from other parents who had gone through the same thing.  Shouldn't they be protecting the child and making sure they are in a safe learning environment?  It is truly heart breaking because I am sure this is not the only school this is happening in.  And why is it that the parent is made to feel like crap when they decide to stand up for their child?  Isn't that my job?  I think we should have more parents standing up and not sitting on the side lines, maybe then people will realize this is not ok.

My rant is over and there has been a lot of stress taken off of my heavy shoulders.  I would like to thank all of my friends who took the time to call or write me and let me know that what I was doing was great and to keep my head up and push forward.  This was starting to break me and your kind words, prayers and love sent my way was definitely felt and accepted.  A good friend of mine write to me after I mentioned how "life sucks", she said "life does not suck, it is beautiful, situations suck", that has stuck in my head and even though I did it before, I now like to drive and look around at the beauty of this life and be thankful for all that I have.

Where Have I Been?!

There I was, thinking that when my 2 oldest would be in school that things around here would get a little easier.  How on earth are they more busy and complicated when I have one less in the house for a good part of the day?  Guess I have been slacking some in the blogging department.  As I said before, my TWO oldest children are in school.  How on earth did my middle girl get old enough to be in school all day?  I know a lot of people say it but it is true, they grow up way too fast!

She is loving kindergarten and has many stories at the end of the day!  She had me walking her to her line on the first day and by the end of the week, she wanted me to just drop them in the car line.  Not only is she becoming more independent but she is showing just how courageous she can be.  On Friday I got a call from the school nurse, who also happens to be a good friend, who told me that a kid in her class had pulled out one of her earrings.  It was bleeding pretty good yet my small one only wanted a band-aid and be sent back to class.  I was able to talk to her on the phone and she told me about all the fun stuff that had happened, nothing about her bleeding ear.  So, once the bleeding was controlled and band-aid in place, she went back to class.  A couple of hours later I get a text from the nurse saying a kid on the playground pulled out her other earring.  Same thing, no tears, no crying, just a quick "please band-aid me".  I can tell you one thing, my oldest would have been home with the first one milking it for all it was worth........I think I would have done the same thing.  I am learning my middle is thick skinned and can handle what is thrown her way, I am so proud of her!

Something else I am proud of?  People standing up for what is right.  A couple of days ago, a good friend of mine posted a link from Talk About It.  The Talk About It site was created by actor Greg Grunberg.  His son has Epilepsy.  We had the honor to meet him at our Walk To End Epilepsy last year.

He is a strong advocate for the Epilepsy community and is spreading awareness day in and day out.  Recently he saw a trailer for a movie where a guy calls another guy "little seizure boy" as a way to make fun of him.  The actors are not small named actors and they also happen to be friends of Greg's.  Standing up for some people can be difficult especially in that line of work.  If you stand up and say something you may not get another gig again, you may tick just enough people off that you become headlines for all the wrong reasons.  But he didn't think twice.  He automatically tweeted to let people know and for them to ask the production company to re-think their ways.  Some may say standing up doesn't work.......this time it did!  The production company issued an apology and was re-editing the part in question.  How amazing is that?!  It doesn't matter what your cause, what makes you want to make this world a better place, standing up for what you believe in can and does make a difference!  Yes, some may say, words don't hurt.  but try to be on the other end of those words.  Seizures are no laughing matter, they are life altering and the people suffering don't deserve to be made fun of.  This year we are not able to attend the walk but we will be there in spirit.  If you live close enough, please consider joining a team or making your own and walk to find a cure and spread awareness.  If you don't live in CA and can make it to Pasadena on October 16, please consider sponsoring someone who will be there.  My good friend who told me about the above story will be there walking with her son and many others.  If you want further info, you can always go to the Epilepsy Foundation of Greater Los Angeles website or ask me for more info :)

I hope everyone has an great extended weekend!!!

Miniature Glee

My oldest is part of the chorus club at her school.  "We may be small, but we are mighty" seems to be the theme of the choir directors, they are also ladies who are a little wacka-do but you love them like they are your grandparents.  This past week, before school got out, they gave their last performance for the year.  They belted out such hits as "Froggy went a courtin'" and "put a little love in your heart", it was fun!!!  My girl was super excited, mainly because we bought her new clothes and also because she got to perform in front of a "small, yet mighty" crowd.  Unfortunately, no one really shows to see them unless their kid is also in the club.  All I know is that Glee has nothing on my girl and her chorus club, I know we could take them if we had a regionals competition to go to........either that or their sweet, small smiling faces would knock them out and they wouldn't be able to sing thus letting us win :) 

Parenting Right.....or Wrong?

Months ago we enrolled our second little one in preschool.  We were told that we would not be able to go to the school of our choice but that they had another school they would send her too.  A little apprehensive I agreed, our little one was so excited to go to school.  So, for the entire summer we giggled and squealed every time school was brought up.  We counted down the days until we could go meet her teacher and see what friends were going to be in her class.  That day came yesterday.  As soon as we got there, things seemed off.  People seemed very rude and not happy to be there.  Her teacher seemed cold and not very loving.  And I know that laws are in place these days to keep teachers from being too touchy feely but would it kill you to show some compassion or love to my 3 year old who has never been to school a day in her life.  When she came to hug you because she was so excited and had waited all summer to meet you, did you really need to put your hand in her face and shove her back a bit?  And  I in no way feel like I am a racist person, I am happy for my girls to learn other languages or be around others who don't speak English very well.  But my child needs to go to school to learn things she will need to know for next year and the years to come and I don't think Spanish is one of those.  Maybe as she gets older she will need it, but to teach a preschool class in Spanish when my daughter knows not a lick just doesn't seem right.  And I know some people will call me out and place the racist label on me but let me assure you, it has nothing to do with race.  If the teacher spoke nothing but German and the teacher demanded she speak half German to the class the entire day, I would not want her in there.  The whole experience just left us with a bad taste.  I kept reflecting back to Cassidy's preschool in Virginia.  It was a small school through a Baptist church and it was awesome!!!!  The teachers were so welcoming and caring and I really felt that they loved having my child there, not like she was a nuisance.  We finally decided to disenroll her from the school.  We have found an amazing private school, then again it is super expensive and out of our league.  Supposedly NAACRA will pay for or help subsidize payments for military families but I also need to have a full time job, which is not happening so we cannot use that.  Any suggestions for that would be greatly appreciated!  Needless to say, I have felt guilty for the past 24 hours.  Am I being too picky?  Should I just send her and hope she is ok?  I keep second guessing my decision.  I called friends and family asking for their opinions and I got a lot of "go with you gut feelings" and my gut was wrenching and didn't feel comfortable dropping my daughter off in that environment.  So, I slept on it, thinking I would wake up knowing if it was the right decision and I still want to second guess myself.  Can I just say how parenting is so freakin hard some times?

Back To School

It is hard to believe that summer is already over for us and even harder to think that I have a third grader in my house.  I am so proud and excited for her, catch me here next week when I blubber over my middle ones very first day of school ever, then you will get tears.  But today I am excited to pick up my big girl from school and hear how her first day went.  She really didn't even want to go.  She was scared and very timid.  If you know my girl, with all she has been through, she is very sensitive and needs acceptance from everyone.  When someone doesn't have time to play, she doesn't brush it off and find someone else to play with, it becomes the worst thing in life and she goes to her room to cry.  I wish I could be at school and make sure she has someone to talk to, someone who will see just how cool she is and she will make a best friend.  I do think back to her first day of school ever, my little girl in front of our apartment in Virginia Beach, VA, she was so excited!

Oh how tiny she was!!!  Flash forward to this morning.............

Geez time flies!!!!  And it looks like someone got a better camera too :)  And should I even mention that those pants she is wearing in her pre-school picture don't even fit our middle one anymore?  She was smaller than my middle one is now!!!  Ugh, my heart just tried to leap out of my chest!!!  Happy first day to all the kids who went back today!!!!!

Back To School Help

Our school for the military kids is located on base and from time to time will have churches or businesses donate stuff, mostly to the school but sometimes for the military members as well.  This past week, one of the churches in the area, Saddleback, put together 600 backpacks filled with school supplies and handed them out to the incoming kids.  I have a real hard time accepting charity.  But I also know that now we have 2 kids who will be in school and money is tight so we took the opportunity and I am ever so grateful!!!  Kendall doesn't need much since she will only be in pre-school (plus she wont be attending the school that Cass goes to anyway) so we only picked up one backpack.  It is amazing!!  The backpack itself is super nice and will hold up for the whole year plus the supplies, it was really nice!!!!  Now all Cass wants to do is decorate the outside, which is not such a bad idea when there are 600 other backpacks that look the same!

Milestone

Today is Cassidy's last day of second grade.  I know she is old enough but it still boggles my mind that I am old enough to have a child getting ready to go into the third grade.  I actually think I am taking it harder than she is, she is excited to be out for the summer, well, minus summer school, but that's not real school is what she tells me, haha.  I got all teary going into her classroom this morning to give Ms.James her gift and a nice big hug.  I guess I just feel close to certain people within the school since it has been a trying year.  Her teacher saw her through a seizure and helped her to calm down when she had behavioral outbursts.  The nurse was always right there if the hint of seizures popped up and helped to keep her healthy by being her lunch buddy.  This school year has been a different one for us and she missed quite a bit of it, but the times she was there (physically and mentally), she had amazing teachers to help her grow.  I was sad to not see her special ed teacher there.  Unfortunately she had a family emergency, she has been with Cass for 2 years now.  I look forward to seeing her at the beginning of next year.  And then Kendall will be in school too, Oy Vey, time will not stop for nothin!!!!!