How To Mend A Broken Heart

Growing up is a tough one.  Before school let out, my oldest found out that her best friend, a boy named Adam would be moving.  He was only moving about an hour away but to a 9 year old, that is forever away.  You see, my oldest isn't the most out-going child.  Once she knows you, she is more than willing to chat and open up but she has a real fear of people not liking her.  She is so scared that someone might say something and has had a hard time with bullies since the first grade.  Back then we didn't know she had Epilepsy and she seemed "weird" to other kids.  She was doing things that we didn't know where they were coming from and kids don't take very well to the kid who doesn't act "normal".  Even after she was diagnosed and started treatment, the meds did not always work.  It took us a good 8 months for her to finally find one that did the job.  In the meantime she would scream in class and not remember it later, she even once hit a kid on the back of the head before screaming and then crawled under desk and cried.  I am not condoning the assault on the boy but i do have to say, she remembered none of it.  It was almost scary when she said she had no clue what I was talking about and later that night before bed, she came downstairs crying her eyes out asking "did I really hit someone?  Is he ok?".  My heart broke.  Girls seem to be the worst in all of this.  There was a gang of girls who stuck together and they were set on making her life a living hell.  The ring leader eventually moved away and things got better but never 100%.  In the meantime, she made a friend.  A little boy named Adam.  I questioned it at first, shouldn't she be besties with a girl?  We surely cannot have a boy over for sleepovers and the typical girlie things, should I tell her to find someone else to hang out with?  I asked her why she liked this boy so much, wondering if it was a crush and she told me "he is just like me, he doesn't say mean things and he makes me feel happy".  During an open house in one of her journals she even wrote about her best friend saying he was "different like me".  Adam is in the special ed class with Cass sometimes so I guess in her eyes, he has some flaws just like she does and they mesh well.  So, besties it was and has been for 2 years.  And then he moved away.  I was never able to get an address for his new place so it seems, for now, they have lost touch. 

Today while I was making dinner she came out with a clay heart she had made at a festival a couple of weeks ago.  It was torn right in half and she was teary.  I asked what happened and she said she was thinking of Adam and it just feel in two.  We did have the talk about destroying personal property in a fit of rage but after that, it broke my heart.  She went to her room and after dinner was in the oven, I went to check on her.  She was sitting in a chair looking out her window with tears streaming down her face.  She told me without looking back at me that Adams favorite color is green just like the grass.  In her hands was her friendship bracelet he had bought her (they each bought one for one another, he actually bought her another one after she bought him one because it wasn't right for her to only have one, so sweet), she wears one on her wrist and the other one was too small to put back on after she had to take it off so she has it in her special box.  When I sat besides her, she melted into my arms and cried.  I don't know if I am prepared for broken hearts!  If she was older and it was a boyfriend, I am totally prepared for the "you deserve better, now lets go shopping and eat junk food" speech but how do you deal with losing a best friend?  As an adult it sucks, I cannot imagine how her little heart is breaking.  As I speak, she is moping.  She wants to snuggle on the couch and just chill and that is not her personality.  I told her I would try to track him down but that was all I had in my arsenal.  So, people help me out here, how to you help your child mend a broken heart?

Four Weddings

Is anyone else out there addicted to this show?  The other day when I was sick, my girls and I played bums and laid on the couch all day.  Between cartoons we would watch cooking shows and other age appropriate things and that is when I came across Four Weddings on TLC.

The show puts 4 brides up against one another.  They all attend each others weddings and give a score for overall experience at the end of the wedding.  Then, after all four weddings have happened, they all give points for first, second and third place for dress, venue and food.  After all points are tallied, the winner is announced when their husband arrives via limo with flowers and a card letting them know where they will go on their honeymoon.  They have been to Aruba, Maldives, Italy, all kinds of beautiful places and I am hooked!!  My oldest and I now watch together, I set my dvr to record first runs and repeats of all episodes and so I can watch whenever I want.  I know it may sound a little much but I love weddings.  And unlike all the other wedding shows where you want them to just get on with it and show the good parts, the good parts are all you see.  You get to see a snippet of the ceremony and then the fun stuff afterwards including the reception.  For the most part, all of the brides have been very sweet with one another.  They are all strangers so they could very well just be mean and talk about how much better their wedding was or will be but they all seem to enjoy the day along with the bride.  This morning I did watch an episode with a major sour puss.  This one chick made the worst faces during one of the ceremonies and then complained about the food and how much she didn't want to dance, it was pretty annoying........she ended up coming in last place by the way.  Anyways, if you haven't seen it but love weddings, I definitely recommend watching some episodes.  Or be neurotic like myself and tape them all for your viewing pleasure :)

Festival Fun

I have to say, living in Southern California definitely has its perks!  Over the weekend on a beautiful breezy beach day, my girls and I were able to head out to the Sawdust Festival.  For those of you who don't know what this is, it is a huge arts festival with tons of art vendors, food, music and kids activities.  It takes place in Laguna Beach, I am sure you all know that area from all the reality tv shows based out of here and yes, it really is that beautiful.  The actual festival sits inland from the beach in a canyon so you don't get any beach views but we did see a lot of this......

Not only did we enjoy the sights but the food as well.  Yes, we ate nothing but greasy food but the kids thoroughly enjoyed it.  Whats better than fish 'n chips with a side of fried veggies?  Oh yes, how about a salad for dinner to counter act all that greasiness sitting in your belly, it was much needed!!!  And not only was the art fantastic but we got to see a magician, get balloon animals and hats, make some crafts and even watch a glass blower make a beautiful bowl.  I can now see why they charge so much for one small item, ti takes so much to make one tiny piece of art, it is beautiful.  And the best part of it all?  My kids did not touch and we did not have to be forced into buying something expensive :)  In a setting where there is glass and art everywhere you turn, a mom is bound to be neurotic with the "no touching" rule and I am sure my girls heard it a million times that day.  However, it all paid off.  While perusing a glass necklace vendor, my girls sweetly glanced at the jewels and marveled at the pretty colors and picked out which one they liked best and the words a mother always wants to hear came out of the owners mouth...."you have such well behaved kids".  Did I just hear the angels sing?  I thanked her and smiled and then smiled at my sweet girls, I was so proud, all of the death glares and threats of "if you touch" (ok, so I don't threaten them but they know I mean business) totally paid off.  It was a great day that ended on a healthy fresh salad and sweet food coma note and I would love to do it all over again!