A Look Back

I guess since tomorrow is the last day of the year I will have to do the annual look back through the year.  I thought that this year I would be good and get out a picture and a letter but yet again, that did not happen.   So, I hope that this can be my replacement.....yep, that works.  So, here it goes.

She has had a much better year than last year.  She has been a rock star of an older sister.  She has helped out with diaper changes and making sure the small things got put away so the little ones wouldn't put it in their mouths.  She turned 8 years old and had her very first sleepover.  I wont let you know how that went for me, but she had a blast.  She finished up her second grade year and couldn't wait to plan numerous things to do over the summer.  Third grade started and she has far exceeded our expectations.  She has also become an advocate for Epilepsy.  She participated in her very first Epilepsy Freedom Walk and is excited to do another one.  She started her third medication this year as well to help control seizures and it seems to be the best so far.  We have started to see some not so good signs but for the most part, 2010 has excelled.  We were also blessed for her to receive an Emfit monitor so we can all sleep a little better at night.  She continues to amaze me each year.  As my oldest I get to experience many new and exciting things and I know 2011 will be no different.

What can I say about our wild child?  She has fit perfectly into her middle child role and I think she likes being squished right into the middle.  She tries to fit in with all the big girls who come over yet she still loves to get on the floor and play dolls and blocks with her baby sister.  She was supposed to start preschool but after some prayers and discussions, we decided to home school her.  I think this has fit her perfectly, she loves school time at home.  To get her interaction with kids her age, she was enrolled in dance class here on base and can barely make it a whole week without asking when she gets to go back.  She turned 4 this year and on the day of her birthday she was reminding us of what she did the year before and all the gifts she got.  And she actually got it all correct and even remembered things I had completely forgotten about.  She has had her moments, we thought her "terrible three;s" were going to fade away but we are finding that the "freakin out fours" are just as lovely.  Yet, the girl knows how to get out of it all by making faces and cracking jokes, I think mom needs to learn how to not be so gullible or maybe ground her funny bone a bit because I cannot help but smile.  And this year she has fallen in love, yes her first crush, a boy by the name of Justin Beiber, has infiltrated my sweet middle girl and as Cass puts it, "she has the Beiber fever".  She actually got a poster of him for Christmas and will kiss him good morning and goodnight.  She is super excited to turn 5 and start kindergarten "just like Jackson" (one of her friends who is in kindergarten this year).  I am excited and yet slightly afraid to see what she will deliver this next year!

Uh, that face.  Can we take this age and just freeze her in time right now?  God knew I needed to have my sweet baby girl, a boy would not do no matter how much I thought I needed one.  She has melted my heart.  Sure, she did the whole walking thing and first word this year and I will cherish that forever but it is all of the in between that has made the memories all that sweeter.  She crinkles her nose like a bunny and has fallen in love with Elmo.  She learned to say that pretty quickly too.  She loves to copy her big sisters in all that they do, she even stands next to Cass when I quiz her on spelling words, she may not get them right but when you see her standing tall, hands folded in front of her saying "eee, aaaa, oooo", it takes you over the edge.  She also loves everybody.  I cannot tell you how many times she asks strangers to hold her or will hug a random leg that doesn't belong to someone she knows.  The girl just bleeds love and I am more than willing to take it.  I tell her each and every night how much I love her and when she says "I loweee loo" back, I don't want to put her to bed, I want to snuggle her.  But she has promised she will still talk like that and snuggle me when she is 30 so I am alright, who cares if she doesn't know what a promise is or even what the heck I said to her, she promised dang it.  I know she will grow and be a whole different girl this time next year but I am so excited to see what discoveries she will make!
This year has brought heartache as well.  My grandfather, my Papa, passed away.  I know that people can say that he was old and lived a good life and I should be happy to know he is in a better place, but that is still hard for me.  He wasn't just my Papa, he was the male role model in my life.  I didn't get to grow up with a dad in my life but I did have my Papa.  I lived with him and my Maemaw for years and got to see him on a daily basis.  He yelled at me and made sure I was doing well in school and he also gave me hugs goodnight and made sure I knew I was loved.  He gave me strong pride in my Norwegian heritage and I will forever be grateful to have had a man like him in my life.  And our middle girl loved him beyond words.  She was the only grandchild who ever really took to him.  He was a very stern man so small kids were a little wary but she would crawl in his lap and love on him whenever we saw him.  She had a hard time at the funeral and even this Christmas when we went to give him flowers, she asked for him to come back and that Santa could do anything.....my heart breaks.
I am super excited to start this new year with my girls!  I know that big changes will be coming our way but I know we will be able to take whatever is thrown our way.  May you all have a blessed New year, I hope you can look back on this one with fond memories!!!!!!!

The other 'C' of the month

CHAOS!!!!  It seems that our blissful Christmas has passed and chaos has ensued.  I am not talking of the children although I do think the greed of Christmas time has hit them hard and sharing is not something they are willing to do, that my friends though I luckily have under control.  What I don't have under control is my washer breaking.  I was pretty excited to be catching up on laundry and housework and had a load of blankets and some rugs in my washer when I heard it off balance.  As I was walking to the laundry room to fix it, the noise got disturbingly worse.  My pace quickened but as soon as I got to the washer, I knew ti was too late.  The lid was half off and the inside was a good three inches lower that it normally is.  I blissfully thought it was not a big deal, I fixed the lid and tried to rearrange the clothes inside to be balanced, that would definitely work.  Or not because as I started it back up, within seconds the noise was back.  The good news on that one, I have amazing friends and one sent her husband over and he was able to temporarily fix the problem so I don't have to get a new washer today, so far so good because I have done at least 4 loads without a problem today.
Speaking of today, my children ask em if I have seen the huge spider in the garage.  I tend to take their "huge" as not a huge deal because a microscopic sized spider is huge in their book (mine too, I must not lie, spiders are not my thing).  However, last summer we did have a black widow hanging out and when I called someone to take care of it and spray, they asked to take it to school because they are studying spiders and they don't have one that big yet (yes please, eeekkk).  So, I thought I should check it out just in case.  That's when I saw this.....

The quality is not great because I had a flashlight in one hand and my phone in the other to take the picture, not to mention I didn't want to get close and was completely freaked out.  But seriously, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!!!!  I feel like I need to apologize to my kids because that sucker is huge!!!!  Cue the chaos of mommy freaking out and even now getting a mad case of the chills, I feel like I have things crawling on me and I may or may not have checked every dark place in my house to make sure he didn't have any friends he brought along.  Please, lets bring some bliss back into my chaotic household!!

Christmas Lessons

On Christmas Eve we go to my Grandmothers house on my moms side of the family.  It takes a good hour or more to get to her house form here and the girls are never loving the car ride, I think we hear a lot of "are we there yet's" from them even though we make that trip a lot and I am sure they know where they are by what they see out their window.  This time, and I blame it on the holiday that had my mind crazed, but we left the house around 1pm and 1 mile down the road I realized I had yet to feed my kids lunch.  I knew they would be complaining before we got there about how hungry they were and since we wouldn't be eating for another 4-5 hours, I knew I had to stop.  So, we stopped at a grocery store out in town and then hit the road.  The snacks I picked up weren't as big of a hit as I thought they would be and 2 out of 3 girls were passed out within 10 minutes of driving down the road.  I sat with a bag of flavored toasted crackers within my grasp and was not happy.....I am trying to eat better and lose weight, those will not help.  I proceeded to only eat a couple and was pretty happy with myself but kept wondering why on earth I even bothered to get snacks if no one was going to eat them.  This normally does not go through my mind because with 3 kids, I know things will eventually get eaten.  Yet, that thought kept coming to mind.
And then it happened.  We pulled off the freeway at the exit to my Grandmas and there was a homeless man standing there with a sign that read "anything will help".  I knew I didn't have any cash on me and was quickly wondering how I could help.  Not only because I felt compassion for him but for goodness sakes it is Christmas Eve and no matter what has happened in someones lives, they don't deserve to spend that day on the roadside watching happy families who are more fortunate drive by.  That's when I saw the snacks, the snacks that were not getting eaten.  We rolled down our window and he came over.  I told him I was sorry I did not have more but that I hoped that he had a blessed Christmas.  He said that was more than enough and thanked me.  As soon as we started driving off my girls asked me why I did that and I got to explain about giving to others and those who are less fortunate.  I was so happy that on such a blessed holiday, I was able to speak this lesson to my little ones.  And then it hit, not until Christmas night, but it hit me.  I know some of you may not be religious but I believe that God disguises himself as people in our lives and tests us on how we will react.  He can be a poor person on the side of the road or he can be a sales person having a hard day.  You never know but I believe he tests us to see how we handle those situations and how we can be blessing others in our lives.  Now I am not saying I know that God was standing there on the side of the road disguised as a homeless man just to see what I would do.  But what I do know is that I have never been upset that I bought food and that no one was eating it right then and there and that 45 minutes later we got stopped on an exit right next to a man who needed food, that to me is a sign.  We all need to show some compassion to one another.  I don't believe that it can fix the world, there are people out there who would much rather use violence or harsh words instead of kindness, but I do believe that if everyone showed one another kindness and stepped into there shoes every now and again, the world could be a much nicer place.  I pray you were all blessed this Christmas with family, good friends and memories that will last you a lifetime!!!

Christmas Happenings

I don't plan on being on this computer for the next couple of days and because of that, here is my 2010 Christmas post.
We have had a filled December I tell you that.  I don't know if I just didn't realize so much goes on around here last year but holy moly, a lot goes on here this time of year!  It could have been that we had our oldest recently diagnosed with Epilepsy and I was a little weary with taking her out with all the lights and sounds and business, I think I was putting her in my bubble and staying home!  But staying home this year, we have not done.
We started with choir performances and church gatherings and Girl Scout parades and that led into parties.  We had parties for the EFMP here on base.  And if you are curious, EFMP stands for Exceptional Family Member and that's what our Cass is.  The girls were pretty excited, this would be the first time they got to sit and actually talk to Santa (we stopped by for a quick 'hi' at the mall but knew we would see him numerous times over so we just did a walk by and high five).

We also attended a Christmas party for ENOC, the Epilepsy Network of Orange County.  The girls had a great time, there was plenty to do.

We also went to a kids Christmas party for Will's command and the girls yet again saw Santa.  I was starting to wonder when seeing Santa would get old since they saw him at least 4 times prior but each and every time they let our squeals when the big man would walk in the room with his hearty "ho, ho ho".
We also had more choir performances and some school plays as well.

We ended all of our festivities with Girl Scouts baking in my kitchen and our local fire fighters getting a basketful of goodies.  So now, it is on to family celebrations and eyes sparkling and mouths dropped open.  Our smallest one is more than thrilled and has tried to open many presents so far.  Good thing I was smart enough to put them in unmarked boxes first, muahahahaha.
I do have to admit, as much as I love this time of year with everyone getting together and the warm fuzzies that come with it all, it gets me thinking of the ones who will not be with us this year.  It will be the third without my amazing brother and the very first without my Papa.  I know I will have my moments when I will have to walk away from the joy of it all to have a moment and wipe away the tears.
And lets not forget the reason why we celebrate.  I don't tell people to have a 'happy holiday' because we celebrate for one reason and one reason only.  We celebrate the birth our Saviour Christ Jesus.  We make our birthdays special each and every year and no one tells you not to celebrate or to say happy birthday in a different way as not to offend anyone.  Well, be offended.  I am offended that people are taking this holiday and making it into something politically correct.  So, just know, if you tell me to have a good holiday, I will make sure to tell you have have a Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!!!!

Family

Have I ever mentioned before how talented my family is?  2 of my cousins are so very talented when it comes to music.  They both have amazing voices and can even play some instruments.  I have seen them a couple of different times at different venues but a couple of weeks ago I got to see one of them play solo.  It wasn't a huge venue, he was actually there to play when the "headliners" took there break.  However, everyone who was there told him he stole the show.....needless to say the guy who he was playing on break for was none too excited, lol.  I know that one day they will make it big!!!!

By the way, my cousin is the guy with the curly hair, I have no relation to the blonde watching, lol

Trip

Today my Girl Scout trip took a trip down to our local fire station here on base.  The girls try to do a service project every year for Christmas.  Last year we brought toys to the kids at CHOC hospital and this year, they decided to bake cookies and bring them as a thank you to our men who help us out in the emergencies that seem to come into our lives.  They came over a couple of nights ago and baked and baked and baked.....seriously, we made a ton of cookies!  And today, we got to deliver those goodies.  Not only did we get to meet the amazing fire fighters, we got to see the truck, sit in the truck, they even sounded the lights and sirens for us!!  The girls had a blast!!!!!!!

An Anniversary No One Ever Wants To Celebrate

Imagine putting your child to sleep at night, laying in bed thinking of all the things you have planned tomorrow.  Why not take the kids to the park?  You fall asleep and wake up in the morning, eager to get on with the day.  You decide to go wake up your sleepy head boy only to find that he will never wake up again.  Your day at the park turned into an evening filled with sadness and funeral preparations.  This sounds like a nightmare.  But for one family, exactly one year ago today, it was a reality.  Daniel George Stanton lost his life at the sweet young age of 4.  Now his family has to walk through life never knowing what an amazing man he would grow up to be, what an amazing advocate he could have been.  The hole that lives within their hearts I am sure feels like the Grand Canyon.  Please don't ever take life for granted!!!  Please know that there are things out there, things you may not even know of that could turn your life upside down and change it forever!! 
Do you know what SUDEP is?  Neither did I and as a parent of a child with Epilepsy, I should know.  Because of the Stanton family I do know and because of their foundation, The Danny Did Foundation I am able to sleep better knowing that if my daughter has a seizure in the middle of the night, I will be alerted by my EMFIT.  I know that times are tough right now, I know that the Christmas season probably has you strapped, but if there is any way you can donate to this amazing foundation, you will not only be donating money, you will be helping to save lives and raise awareness.  And if you cannot donate, please send up a prayer for this remarkable family.  It has only been one year and I am sure that the many more ahead of them will not be any easier without their sweet Danny.  Danny Did enjoy life, Danny Did love his family.....Danny, please know how much you have touched the lives of people you have never met.  You are a hero in my eyes!!!!

A Little Bit Older

I know a lot of people don't see the difference but I took a good 5 inches off of Kendall's hair a while back (yes, I cut all of my girls hair and yes, I did go to cosmetology school) and I think it aged her into a real little girl.  Her longer hair was so wispy and young and fun and I think it kept her looking like a tiny girl, now she looks older.  Maybe it is just me seeing my girls grow up too fast, what do you think?

Weekend Events

This weekend was tiring and fantastic all in one.  It started out Friday with me getting a little shopping done all by myself, peaceful as that may be, I have to go back today to return and exchange things, I guess trying to get some shopping done super fats before you need to be somewhere does not always pay off.  Anyways, from the mall I went to my Aunts church for an event called Shebrews.  It is a woman's coffee night with gifts and scripture and music, it was a great time!!  I ate way too many sweets and think I need a sugar detox but it was wonderful!!! 

After it was over I stayed at my Grandmas house because at 4am I needed to be up and out the door with my Aunt and cousin to volunteer at the Gladiator Rock N Run.  The proceeds go to help Epilepsy so I knew it was something I needed to volunteer for.  However, 4am comes quickly and it was maybe 40 degrees.  Did i mention I forgot a sweatshirt so I got to wear a super thin cardigan?  Yay!!  But in all honesty, it was a lot of fun.  I got to meet some amazing people, talk about Cassidys story and witnessed men in outfits I am sure they normally would not be caught dead in.  I am very thankful for my wonderful Aunt and cousin who came out as well.  They braved the cold and massive amounts of people but they did it in the name of Epilepsy and for that I am ever so thankful!!!! 
Do I end there?  How would it be a crazy weekend if it ended there?  After spending 6 hours at the Rock N Run, I drove home to get my girl ready for her very first choir performance.  She was performing at a local church with her other choir members and the San Clemente Choral Society.  My mom came out to see her as well.

The performance went longer than expected and since we had to be on the road to our next event for the day, as soon as our girl came off stage, we left out the side door.  I did feel guilty, I did not want the others thinking I did not enjoy their singing but we had other places to be.  I felt better once I saw at least 4 other families doing the same thing, lol.  So, with that being over with, we were off in the car to Fallbrook for the Christmas parade that my Girl Scouts were in.  The drive on base to the Fallbrook gate was typical but as soon as we exited into the town, it was sheer madness, cars were everywhere and roads were blocked.  We were told not to park in the grocery store parking lot but Cass started to not feel good (she tends to get hot in the car and proceed to throw up, we are used to it but it is never fun).  So, we pulled into the forbidden parking lot and as the man with the clipboard started towards us to tell us how we were not allowed to stay there, he saw my sweet one bent over a bush and decided to let us stay.  The good part of it all was that we were then able to park in the parking lot and have good seating for the parade.  So, my mom, Will and the 2 small ones sat and watched while Cass and I joined our other Girl Scouts for the parade.  It was a great time, I loved seeing all the little kids so happy, waving and yelling "Merry Christmas".  Our girls would wave and yell back, some sending out a cheerful "Happy Hanukkah" (yeah, that was my child, she wanted to make sure she had everyone covered, lol).  After it ended, we decided dinner would be a good option, the kids were cold and hungry.  Cass got even more sick on the way to the restaurant and even sicker on the way home.  Needless to say, she was happy to be home in her bed.  As was I, being up at 4am and not getting to bed until 11pm is not fun.  I feel like I got hit by a truck today, how did I get so old?  Now, off to the mall and hopefully not needing to go back for quite some time.