Last blog of the year

Wow, kind of crazy that this is the last day of 2009. It has been a great year and a not so great year. We had a lot of things happen....we moved from Illinois to California and we had our sweet little girl Hayley, 2 of the biggest and of course Hayley tops the list. Its hard to think that in the year 2010 I will have a 1 year old, a 4 year old and an 8 year old!!!! Am I old enough to have an 8 year old? Lol. Hopefully this is a great year. I am hoping to go back to school, Cassidy has decided she wants to be baptised and we are having Kendall and Hayley dedicated at our church on Mother's Day. So far it seems like it will be a great one :) I hope all of you have a wonderful and safe new year and I cant wait to make more memories together!!!

School?

So I have been making cakes and baking for a long time now and have always had it in the back of my mind. I love to do it but have never had any formal training and there's a lot I don't know how to do when it comes to decorating a cake. So, the thought of me doing it professionally scared me and I put that thought away. But, my mom told me a couple of weeks ago that she was talking with her friend Anne and they both agreed that I need to become a baker. I love doing ti so much and for no training, I feel like I am pretty darn good at it. So, today I made some calls and did some research and hopefully will be attending the Art Institute for Culinary Arts. They have a baking and pastry course that not only includes anything and everything about baking, decorating etc, but they make sure you take a business course so you will be able to open your own bakery one day. My mom and I are planning on touring the campus when she gets back from her trip and I am so excited. And nervous, I feel like the old lady going back to school. Plus it would be even more time away from the kids and that thought makes me want to cry. I don't know what will happen but I am kinda excited at the thought of me brushing up on my skills and doing something for me :)

Baby blues

So our house has been a disaster since Christmas Eve. We had been super busy going to different peoples houses that by the time we got home I was not in the mood to put everything away where it should go, so it pretty much got dumped in the front room by the tree. Then of course the next morning, after Christmas day, the girls went nuts with all their new things and the house just continued to get worse. So, yesterday was my day to clean it all up, I was starting to go a little nuts just looking at it all and knew it had to be done. I was about to vacuum in the tv room and if you have been here you know it is not a huge room so the swing we have kind of angled in there is pretty much just in the way. It was then that i realized, we never really use the swing anymore, I actually couldn't remember the last time I put Hayley in her swing so I asked Will if he could remember and he said no. Yeah, we don't use it, lol. So, we decided it was time to put away the swing. And yes, I cried!!!!!! It just seems like one more step towards no more baby in the house. She is crawling, well army crawling but she is a military brat :), and even eats real food from time to time, not just the yucky baby stuff. She is just growing up so fast and it makes me so sad. On the plus side, we do have more room in the tv room now and it doesn't look as cluttered :)

Merry Christmas!!

What a blessed Christmas we had this year!!!! It was Hayley's very first and I was super emotional about it. I have a really strong feeling that this is really our last baby so all of her firsts make me super emotional, I hate to think of my kids growing up and not being my sweet little babies anymore!! But, this year was amazing. Christmas Eve started with a contractor coming out to the house and fixing our broken counter top, woo hoo. I felt awful that he came out that day, wouldn't he much rather not be working? Granted there could have been other houses he had to go to but what if we were the only house, I am sure he cursed us on the way home :) Later that night we drive out to Corona to spend Christmas Eve with my moms side of the family. My mom wasn't there because she is in Washington having Christmas with my sister and her kids but my grandma and grandpa, Aunts, Uncles and cousins were there. It was very strained and we felt very uncomfortable but I am glad we went for my grandma and this could be my grandpas last Christmas so it was nice to be with him. Then we got home and the girls got to choose which cookies santa would eat that night......they chose kahlua balls!!!! Pretty awesome, hahahaha. So, with kahlua balls, carrots, milk and a sweet little note, it was time to sleep so santa could come. I don't think they have gone down that easily in quite a while, lol. Needless to say that next morning came early and there were big smiles on all the kids faces. Then it was off to my dads side of the family. I haven't had a Christmas with them since I was a little girl and we had an awesome time. The food was fantastic and I even learned a new recipe :) So, if anyone wants a super yummy corn casserole I will have to have you over one night :) My niece Kayla and her mom Brandi were there as well, so good to see that little one on Christmas!!!! Of course the void where my brother would be was apparent and it made me sad but seeing that little face and those gorgeous blue eyes made up for it, you cant be sad seeing a face that sweet. So, all in all we had a fantastic Christmas. Oh, Cassie and Kendall both got cross necklaces from our Aunt and Uncle in Idaho and it was so special seeing it around Cassie's neck. Not only did it make her look so grown up but after she just accepted Christ and wants to be baptised, it means so much more!!!!! I hope each and everyone of you had a great Christmas!!!!!

Busy Busy Busy

It is the end of the year and I am busy beyond belief. Saturday I rehearsed for the children's play at church for 4 hours and as soon as I got home my mom was already here. We planned on having Christmas with her that day because she will be leaving Wednesday to spend it with my sister so we did it early:) But, that meant turkey and all the fixings:) Super yummy when all is said and done but a pain in the butt to get ready for!!!!! The girls had a great time with grandma as usual and of course loved opening presents!! That night Cassidy started running a fever and since we cannot let it get too high with her Epilepsy, we had to take her into the ER. My mom stayed back home with the smaller girls. While there she ran a high temp and had a couple of small seizures but they got her temp down and she was fine. Then Sunday was the children's play at church so again I was there for 4 hours. They did such a good job, those kids are so talented it is nuts!!!!!! I am not sure if the church has the play on its website but if so you can fine it on Pacific Coast churches website :) After that was over I came home, picked up Kendall and we were off to Cypress where my cousin Matt lives to bake cookies. Both my Aunts were there and my Grandma, it was fun, but then again it always is with them. And we made tons of cookies, we have plenty to last us through the New Year and then some, so if you are aching for a cookie, come on over :) And then there was today. I wouldn't call it busy because it was fun but I wasn't home so now it feels like I have been busy all day. My mom and I met at the Spectrum and did some last minute shopping and had lunch. It was nice to get out with just my mom, I cant tell you how long it has been. But, now I am home and ready to relax. Maybe I should get off of here then, lol.

The best blog yet!!!!!

So I am going to be quick with this weeks happenings only because they pale in comparison to what I really want to talk about :) So Monday night was the girl scout Christmas party, it went really well and the girls looked so cute singing in front of everyone. We had one get sick but she was picked up by dad and felt better that night when we stopped by to wish her well. After that I went to my MOPS meeting, well, I guess I can call it the after party, lol. We had a get together at Lynne's house again and had coffee and too much yummy food while talking about what inspires us. And even though I have my "what inspires me" I must say that those women who have come into my life inspire me beyond words, they are just plain amazing!!!!!! That night was the night we learned our internet wasn't working so we have been without for days now. Who knew I depended so much on a freakin computer?!!!! 1 Christmas party, 1 rehearsal and girl scout field trip to CHOC hospital later lands us here tonight. While I was catching up on e-mails our sweet 7 year old girl came to us and excepted Jesus into her heard and as her Lord and Saviour!!!!!!! My heart is filled with joy and my eyes with tears :) It was the best feeling in the world, I cannot even explain it. We told her the angels in heaven were celebrating and among them are her Grandma and Uncle Justin :) I don't even know how to keep writing about it because I just lose words, I am so happy i feel there are no words. Just praise be to God, I am so blessed!!!!!!

A good and broken weekend

Seriously, my end of the year theme is officially "broken". First it was the tree and my baking pan. This weekend my mom came down and we made lefse. My grandma was always the one who made it, namely because the recipe is written in Norwegian and it is hard to convert measurements to English.........and for the most part she bakes it by feel and not real measurements. But, we found a recipe online that seems exactly the same so I made it for the very first time. As the lefse was baking we heard a huge bang. We looked all around and saw nothing so since we saw nothing we went about making our lefse. Halfway through we had to stop to make dinner and when I moved my griddle form the counter, I saw the huge crack in my counter top. The heat from the griddle had cracked my counter top!!!!!! I always use that griddle to make pancakes and bacon on but it isn't on for that long in one spot, it was probably on for a good 5 hours. So, add that one to the list :) And then it didn't stop there. Kendall was like an accident prone kid this weekend too. She fell I don't know how many times and one of the last times has a huge bruise running up her arm to show for it. Then as I was getting her dressed I unzipped her jammies and felt it tug, followed by a scream, yep, I zipped the belly button!!!!!! I think I might need to put myself in a protective bubble. Not for my own sake but for the sake of my friends and family around me :) The good news is, we have lefse!!!!!!! It tastes amazing, not as good as my grandmas but hey, it is a learning process and I am sure it will get better as I go. And to end the weekend on a good note, we had the Girl Scout caroling event. Kendall went along with us and we went Christmas caroling. It was such a good time. After we got done caroling we had hot cocoa and cookies, that's always a good time!!!!!!

Good News

Will sent me a text last night that said he might be coming home today instead of Friday, and he confirmed it this morning!!!! I know a day might not seem like much but it is for us :) And, we got our window this morning!!!!! I am so happy, the room is so much brighter and warmer! After the window broke our maintenance guy put a thin piece of board in there so the room was super dark and it wasn't fitting the window properly so we had huge gaps of space between the window and the board so it was always freezing in that room and pretty much all of downstairs. And in return it was sweaty hot upstairs. I had to keep the heat on to keep us from freezing but in return the heat was always clicking on since it sits near the drafty window so the upstairs stayed stuffy. But, we are back to normal now, woo hoo!!!!!

A week alone...........again

I am still not used to the Marine Corps lifestyle. When Will was stationed on a ship he would go out for training but it seemed to always be right before the deployment and maybe only once or twice. He seems to be gone a lot these days, always going away for weeks at a time for training. Which is the case this week. He left early this morning and wont be home until Friday. I know for sure we have another one in the beginning of January and then the big one is when he is gone for over a month in April/May, I am not looking forward to that one!!!! And Cass is home from school today as well. On Saturday, after date night, we came home and Lynne (the amazing lady who was delighted to watch our kiddos...........seriously, she really was, she is amazing) said Cass had just started to have a runny nose and it has gone downhill since then. And yes, I mentioned date night in that last sentence as well. How sad is it that we had no idea what to do once we left the house because we haven't been on date nights in several years. We went to the movies and after we sat down, I had the moment of panic of "wheres my kids..............oh wait, we didn't bring kids.....WEIRD!!!!!". It was a nice night though. We went to see the movie Brothers, which is really good but very hard to watch. It was war scenes in it and they are just too hard to handle. I covered my eyes and cried quite a bit, but all together it was a great movie. And we saw it up in Mission Viejo at the Kaleidoscope. We had never been, it was pretty nice. There is not too much there but we saw a dueling piano bar, we will have to go sometime, it looked like fun!!!!! So, here I am now, alone in the house. But, it is super rainy and cold outside so I am kind of excited to curl up with a blankie and watch movies tonight. I am sure Will wishes he was home, he is somewhere sleeping on a cot tonight in the cold rain :( Who wants to take bets he will come home not feeling so hot and possibly have the flu? Lol

A Great Week

So, this week has actually been a really good one. I have been super busy as normal and feel very out of control but I feel closer to God than I have in a very long time and for that, I say this is a great week. More so that came on Thursday. In our MOPS group we had to tell our life stories. I knew the girls in my group were amazing women, I have come to know them somewhat. But after Thursday I have so much more respect and am in total awe of these women. Some of the stuff they have gone through is just amazing and heartbreaking all at once. I think at one point all of us were in tears (until Patti cracked a joke and made us laugh, haha). I just feel like now I have these amazing women surrounding me. I would love to take away some of the crud they have had to go through, but then if I did, I feel like they wouldn't be at my table and I wouldn't get to call them friends, and that would break my heart!!!! I think I left that morning just thanking God for being awesome and knowing just what I needed and for those amazing girls!!!!!!

On some other news, we had some sad news today. Wills dad remarried after his mom passed away and his new wife had a son. He was married with 2 kids and living in Seattle. The last time I saw them was when we lived in Washington and since we really don't have a relationship with Wills parents anymore we never kept in touch with him either. Well, Wills Aunt just let us know today that he killed himself. Granted, we lost touch and never were that close but as soon as I read it my heart stopped. I thought of his wife and 2 kids who now have to deal with daddy being gone. I am sure his wife is angry and sad all at the same time. My heart just breaks for them. So, if you could be praying for them, I am hoping God will help to heal the hurt. I know they were not believers when we lived there and were actually a little angry when asked to pray or anything relating to God. Things could have changed in the years we lost contact but I know God heals and so that is my prayer for them. I think their sons would be about 9 and 6 now and I am not too sure if they ever had more kids.

Honesty

Yay, 2 blogs in one day........................thanks Launa :) After I blog I normally go to see what my friends have been up to and now I am back to blogging thanks to Launa :) hehe. So, here it goes:

Here are the rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and a link to their blog.

2. Share 10 honest things about yourself.

3. Present this award to 5 others whose blogs you find brilliant in design and content.

4. Tell those 5 people they have been awarded.

Ok..................

1. I have no idea who I am these days. I have volunteered my time in so many different directions that I think I may have lost myself in them. I don't feel like the true me is in any of these activities and that's probably because none of them are for me, lol.

2. I miss my brother every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I love him and miss him so much that the pain is too much to handle and so I haven't dealt with it. I have this constant knot in my stomach that aches even when I hear his name. I am afraid of what might happen if I let it all go and actually deal with it.

3. I am nutty. I fall down, don't understand some jokes, have weird sayings that make complete sense to me and somehow sound like I am from Minnesota sometimes when I have never even been there. I have never had a broken bone but that in itself is a miracle. How many times can one hit their head without causing serious brain injury?!!!!! I know the day will come when my kids are embarrassed by me but for now they think I am the coolest mom ever :)

4. I hate my body. Lets not get into my past with this one, lets just be here right now. I have gained so much weight and am so unhappy with it. Today is my day 1 of my diet and exercise regimen. My goal is Vegas in March and I hope to make it, I know I will be much happier with myself then!!!!

5. I love the beach but am scared of the things that live in the water :) I love watching surfers surf and sitting on the sand. But I just picture me going out into the water and having something alive touch my leg, it just freaks me out.

6. And while we are on the "that freaks me out" stuff (God help me I have waaayyyy more than this), I am scared to death of flying. I have flown to Norway and Hawaii as a kid and then Chicago 7 years ago. That was enough to deter me for life. Will wonders how we will travel and see the world, which I want to do as well, and I don't see why we cant do it by a cruise? Then again, big waves tossing a boat around freak me out, whats the name of that movie that has the boat get caught in a huge wave and turned over and everyone but like 3 people dies? Maybe this one should be that I am paranoid of a lot of things. :)

7. I feel like an awful friend!!!! I have the best intentions of calling people, however #1 has me caught up and at the end of the day, I feel like I have failed my friends. I think of them a lot and want to be there for them but never truly reach out the way my heart is aching to. And I don't tell them so they think I just never call and don't care. But if you are a friend of mine, you are that for a reason. I love and care for you so deeply......and hopefully I can get better at showing it to you.

8. I want to go back to work and be a clinical psychologist. I think it would be amazing to work at a mental institute and try to get into the brains of people who don't think normally. This thought freaks Will out every time I bring it up :)

9. I feel like I am just now getting into my "mom groove". I think I have figured out what works and what doesn't. I feel like life at home with the kids is finely starting to go smoother than ever before and that maybe they think I am nice mommy again and not completely off my rocker :)

10. I am scared to death for Cassidy's future as a person with Epilepsy. There is so much that can trigger a seizure and I just picture her away at school staying up late and forgetting to take her meds and then having a massive seizure. My kids being hurt ( and I am sure every mom will agree) is one thing that I just cant handle. I want to wrap her up in my arms and have her live in my mommy bubble where she is safe for the rest of her life. I think it will take me a lot to get to the point of letting her do things alone.

Ok, so there's my honesty :) Thank you Launa for being amazing and doing this first............and then loving ti so much you had em do it, lol. Here is my list of those who I think should do it :)

1. Sheila Stevens: spookystevens.livejournal.com

2. Katie Getz: glimpseofgetz.blogspot.com

3. Kristin Bozarth: bozarthfamily.blogspot.com

4. Matt Stevens: mattstevens7.livejournal.com

5. Rachel Hall: rhall.blogspot.com

Really?!!!!!

I am not sure if I want to laugh or curl up in the fetal position and cry. Yesterday was some kind of day!!! Kendall wasn't feeling that good so I decided I was going to stay home with her and Hayley while Will went to church with Css and one of the Marines we had over for Thanksgiving. About 5 minutes before he was going to leave I decided to be brilliant and put up our Christmas tree. we have a pretty pre-lit one and it is easy to put together. And then Kndall and I could decorate while daddy was gone, she was pretty upset she couldn't go to church. So, I pull the bottom part of the tree out of the bag and look around at where to put it. I decided on the chair by the window, that way it wasn't on the floor and in the way, so I put it on the chair and I hear a crash and cracking noises coming from the window. How the heck could I forget that the bottom of the tree has a pole so that you could put it in the base?!!!! So, my tree went thru the window. I yelled for Will and he came down. I made him promise not to be mad (which he never does because he knows better when I say that, lol) and I told him and he kind of laughed because I think he thought it was a joke and I wasn't that much of a moron. And then he heard more cracking. I am kind of giggling about it now but I am sure I wont when we get the bill. Christmas was already tight.....I don't know what we will do. Then, Will was going to finish putting up the lights on the house. He had started the night before but when we plugged them in, a small part wasn't working. So, he decided to finish the next day. So he got back up on the roof and plugged away for quite a long time. After he was finished and was happy, he went to plug them in and it went on for a second...........and then they all went out. Now none are working. He is going to look at them today but I am sure he blew them all out :( Oh, and the tree isn't lighting up either. So, if that wasn't enough to squeeze into one day, I decided to make a london broil for dinner. It had been in the oven for a while when I pulled it out to check if it was done. It still needed a while more so I put it back in. About a minute later we heard a boom sound and smoke started pouring out of the oven. I opened it up and Will thought it was just bubbling over but the juice from the meat was coming from under the meat..............my pan had exploded!!!!! 2 seconds later all the smoke alarms in the house were going off and Will took the girls outside since the smoke was really bad. And the thing is, I had seen a recall about corningware and how the ones made after a certain date were exploding because they weren't heat resistant and some peoples ovens even almost exploded with the force of the blast. And I thought to myself "that sucks for those people"....................I guess it was a welcome to the club, lol. Needless to say it was one of those days. Lets hope today is better!!!!

What a blessed Thanksgiving!!!!!

This Thanksgiving we adopted 2 Marines from the school of infantry. We ended up getting 2 amazing young men named Steve and Sal. Steve is 20 and from a small town in Indiana and Sal is 18 and from Illinois. They were both very respectful and loved playing with the girls. The thing that got me though was when I asked Steve if he had a church he goes to out here. Since he got to the house he had been talking about being baptized and his faith so I wanted to ask. He said he had been going to the one on base but he would love to go with us. He then said that his family had been praying for 2 weeks that he would find a good Christian family to spend Thanksgiving with, so it meant a lot to have us welcome him in to our family. I was in tears!!!!!! His family had been praying and we were the answer to prayer, I don't think I have ever been told that I was an answer to prayer!!!! So amazing!!! So, tomorrow Sal is coming with us and Steve said probably next weekend because he has a friend whose grandparents are coming in for the weekend and they are going to the base chapel. God works wonders and it made em feel so blessed. And then on Friday I had a black Friday lunch with both my Aunts, my cousin Jessica and one of my Aunts friends. And later that night we went over to my Aunts for a Thanksgiving part 2 :) It was a great night as well!!!!!

Nothing new is going on with my medical issues unfortunately. I was finally able to get a doctors appointment (like he said he wanted in the first place) after getting the run around but the appointment was pointless. He looked in my throat and saw they were still there and put in a consult for the ENT clinic. He said they would call within 10 days and if I didn't hear by then to call them. I think I will call them anyway on Monday :) So, nothing has really changed with that one, thank you all for the prayers though, it means so much to me. I am so emotional these days with all that is going on, I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life!!!! And if you are reading this....you are one of them :)

Camping at the beach

This weekend we went camping with my dads side of the family. We didn't end up having to go far since it was on the base beach but it was sooo pretty and so much fun!!!!! The girls always have fun going camping and being around family. And I got to meet my Aunts best friend Molly who knew me as a baby I guess. She said she remembered me in my infant carrier with my mom, so funny. She was so sweet though and the girls took to her right away as well and fought for attention of course. And while we were there Hayley's first tooth came in, she is growing up way too fast!!!!!! We also decided to bring Minnnie down for the day on Saturday, we were a little apprehensive since she is still in puppy mode and acts like a spaz most of the time but she did awesome.

No news on my medical stuff. However, a new symptom has arrived and it comes in the form of not breathing. It seems like I lose my breath and my throat closes quite a lot now, it is really scary. So, hopefully I will be seen soon and they can get to the bottom of this.

And just a side note, the above picture is not from this weekend, it was taken over the summer. I am still trying to catch up on the pictures so I can get more posted :) But it fits nicely, so you can always pretend I inserted a recent picture :)

A Wedding and a doctors visit

Yesterday my friend Kristi whom I have known for 20 years, which makes me feel really old by the way, got married!!! It was really pretty and her mom rented a stretch hummer to take us to dinner at the Chart House. The food was amazing by the way, you could cut the steak with a spoon it was so tender!!! The bride and groom looked amazing it was just a very special time!!!!

On to another note, I had a doctors appointment today. I have had a lump on the back of my throat for almost a month now and within the last few days I have had another one come up under my chin. Last week I went in to have them check it and they took a swab of it which came back negative so I had to go back in today. The doctor looked at it and determined he had no clue what it was and was very concerned. He did some blood work and wants me back no later than next week. I was ok until I talked to Will and then I basically broke down. I don't think I am scared that this is life threatening but I am very nervous it is something serious that would involve a lot of treatment. I don't know, it is just never comforting to have a doctor not know and be worried. The doctor should never be the one worried, lol. So, prayers would be really nice. I feel weird asking for prayer for me, I feel almost selfish for asking, lol, but it would be nice :) And I will keep you posted on what happens when I find out :)

The Best Ever!!!!!!!

Ok, so the last week has been horrible. I feel like I have had no time for anything, I am constantly running around and my plate is overflowing. And to be honest I have no one to blame but myself. I just cant say no to anyone for any reason so if you ask, I will accomplish what you need. And it gets me in trouble from time to time and now is one of those times. However, a much needed break came on Monday night and it came in the form of dance!!!!! My aunt got 2 tickets to So You Think You Can Dance a couple of months ago and Monday was the night. It was so much fun and I got to see the amazing Kupono up close and personal. I love my husband so don't get this next sentence wrong, but I love that man!!!!!!! Not to mention that I don't think he likes girls so Will is completely ok with this :) Al of the dancers were amazing, how do they make it seem effortless? They would jump 10 feet in the air and it was like they had a trampoline under them. And the flexibility on those girls?!! I don't ever remember being able to do any of that, hahahaha. After all was said and done, we got to go down to the lounge and hang out with all of them, hello, we got to hang out with them!!!!!!!! And as soon as my aunt said "I think I see Kupono".....well, enough said, I am sure you know where I headed :) And the best thing, he was the absolute nicest guy ever. He talked with me and didn't make em feel like I was a burden or just another fan. And he hugged me, yes, a nice long friendly hug that made me all giddy (ok, enough of that because I know I sound like a love crazed teenage girl when I am actually a married mom of three). But for one more ecstatic moment let me say................KUPONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, also as we were there I got to see Mary Murphy, she was actually watching the show with all of us there and when we were standing outside the theater afterwards, Nigel Lythgoe came strolling by and I managed to get a picture and quick word with him before anyone else recognized and swarmed him, and not that he will ever be interested enough to read this, not to mention he has no idea who I am, but I would like to apologize if in any way I caused a mob scene by stopping you and taking a picture. As soon as the flash went off it was like piranhas on a helpless guppy. Alright, so that was my night. I am now back to reality and right about now I hear a certain 7 month old who just woke from her nap, time to go snuggle :)

Happy Halloween......and birthday :)

This last weekend was so much fun!!!! On Friday night my Aunt church had what they call Mega Night. They had tons of those big jumpy things and food and games, it was a lot of fun, and the girls got to get dressed up in their costumes which is always fun! After we got done there we went back to my Aunts new apartment, which is amazing by the way, and we watched the Disneyland fireworks!! You can see them from her living room window, it is so cool!!!! Then of course Saturday was Halloween. We carved pumpkins ( I know, a little late on that one) and then my mom came down and took the girls trick or treating along with Will. My mom even dressed up as a witch, it was fun!!!!! Then on Sunday we celebrated Wills birthday since he had been gone for it. He got chocolate chip banana pancakes for breakfast with maple bacon on the side and pizza, beer, and German chocolate cake for dinner/dessert. It was kind of low key but he said he loved just being home with us, so hopefully it was the best birthday ever :)

By the way, I know the pictures don't match the blogs :) I am such a slacker when it comes to uploading pictures so I figured I would just post any pictures, any picture is better than no picture right?

Will's Home!!!!!

Last night Will finally got to come home!!!! The girls we ecstatic of course, and so was I :) He was filthy and smelly but he got a ton of hugs and kisses anyway :) I swear he had so much dirt in his ears, poor guy. I am sure his hot shower was the best thing in the world at that moment :) So, we are back to normal, well, as normal as we get :) We have a lot planned in the next couple of weeks, or should I say months since Christmas is right around the corner, aagghh :)

Public schools, ugh!!!!

So, when Cassidy started her second grade school year here, it was only a week after she had her seizure and was diagnosed with Epilepsy. The day before school started I sat down with the administrators and went over my needs for Cassidy while at school. One of the many things we decided on was no playing on the playground until we knew her meds were working properly, no contact sports and no running. It has since been 2 months and recently I sat down with her teacher and discussed a new action plan. Cassidy would be allowed to play on the playground, as long as someone was able to be out there supervising her so if she started to not feel good or went into a seizure, they would be there to help. I was told that was no problem. I just now received a phone call from the nurse expressing her feelings that Cassidy should not be allowed to play on the playground and that was the safest thing for her. I told her about my conversation with her teacher and she said there is no possible way someone could supervise Cassidy, and in the same sentence she said supervision is only for kids with specific health concerns. Ummm, hello, she has a specific health concern!!!!! This is really starting to make em mad, I am her mom, I am the one looking out for her and right now through her school I feel like I am being bullied into letting them choose for me.

A horrible 24 hours!!!

Ok, so I think the only symptom I am missing from the swine flu is a fever. This is horrible whatever it is!!! I have had a minor cough for about a week, it was so minor I thought nothing of it. Then on Sunday while we were camping it started to get worse. After we got home, it felt like it just exploded. I cough so much it is hard to breathe sometimes and my chest and throat are both killing me. I ended up only getting 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night, and even what I got I wouldn't consider real sleep. It seemed like every time I went to lay down it would get worse and I would be up coughing (and eventually getting sick), yuck!!! Today I feel even worse but am so exhausted so hopefully I get some sleep tonight. Normally I can handle it when Will is gone but for some reason, the past 2 weeks have been a living nightmare, I really need him home!!!!

Camping!!

Yesterday afternoon my Aunt called and about an hour later we were camping. There is a nice little campground one exit down from the base, it was really nice. A lot of family and friends were there and Cass was showing off the whole night. She was singing and dancing and just having a great time. Hayley wasn't too thrilled though. She just loves being home with her bed and her things so the getting her to sleep was a little rough but after laying with her on the couch, forehead to forehead and her little hand resting on my cheek, she was out and my heart was a puddle. I have been very emotional after having her but I also think just knowing this is our last and this will be the last time for a lot of those things, it makes me even more emotional. If we could afford it and my body could handle it, I think I would be ok with 20 or so kids :)

Oh life!!!

This week has been crazy!!! Both the girls and I had been feeling a lot better so we were able to go about our normal schedule, and then Thursday hit. I got up and went to MOPS after dropping Cass off at school and that's when the you know what hit the fan. On the way home from picking her up at school I started feeling sick. When we got home, it was not pretty. I could only go for maybe 10 minutes and then get sick again. Cass was all worried and Kendall cries whenever anyone throws up so she was freaking out too. And I don't think it helped that Hayley spit up some of her food right after I did, Kendall was a wreck at that point. I don't think I have ever seen anyone so terrified of puke!!! Luckily Friday was better, I was actually able to function and today hasn't been bad, I just cant stop coughing which is just plain annoying!!! This morning was crazy though. I had a parents meeting for the girl scout troop and this one lady brought her 6 kids!!! They were nuts, they got into our food and started eating it all and broke our grandfather clock and blinds. Not to mention the hitting and name calling towards all the other kids there. Poor Kendall got it the worst since she was the smallest. And what was their mom doing the whole time? Nothing!!!! I was so shocked, she did absolutely nothing!!!!! Everyone else was parenting her kids to no avail, they would just laugh at you. One of the little girls said she didn't want to be in girl scouts anymore because of this and I promised her it would never be like that again, those kids wouldn't be coming to the meetings. My house was so neat and clean and now ti looks like someone broke in, ugh. Time to relax and hopefully get rid of this darn cough!!!!!!!!

It's official!!!

I am officially the troop leader for Cassidy's Girl Scouts troop. Needless to say, I am a little freaked out!!! She wanted to join but I never thought I would be the one leading, lol. This Saturday we are going to have a parent info meeting at the house so everyone can get to know who I am and then starting on November 6 and every other week after that, we will have meetings at MY house, aaaaggggghhhhh. Luckily Will is gone or I would get the shameful head shake. He always says that I volunteer for too much and cant say no. Which is true, and it is both a blessing and a curse :) I love helping out and it makes me happy if I can help others but I try to help everyone and sometimes I get stretched waaaay too thin. And on top of it, I think I am going to be starting EMT school. It will take me a long time to get my degree for clinical psychology so I thought in the meantime, I could be an EMT, I could work the graveyard shift and help bring in some money around here. And working in the middle of the night would let me have the days with my girls and hubby and not feel like I am missing out on anything. Except maybe my sanity :)

Will's gone and the house is sick!!!!

I swear, it's like life knows when Will is getting ready to leave, lol. The day before he left I was sicker than a dog. I knew it was only the beginning of things to come. Of course I get sick, followed by Cassidy which then gets passed on to Kendall and from holding Hayley it was inevitable that she got sick as well. It has just been a blah kind of week. I stayed home from Community Group, MOPS and church, I don't want to be the person infecting all of San Clemente with whatever this is :) However, this week we are starting to feel better, woo hoo. Well actually I started feeling better over the weekend so I actually got a little me time in :) On Friday night I went with my friend Kristi and her mom Linda to the Improv in Brea, we saw Craig Shoemaker.....he is hilarious!!!!!!!!! And then Saturday my mom and I got up super early, way too early, and had a garage sale. We should have just slept in!!!! There was no one out looking for garage sales, it was nuts!!!! The only good thing that came out of it was my grandfather clock :) There was a girl down the street having a garage sale, she has a long sad story of why she was selling everything, but she said that it had been in her family for 40 years and she didn't want her soon to be ex-husband to get his hands on it so she was selling it. I wasn't going to spend the money on it, I was having a garage sale to make money not to spend it, but later in the day she walked down to the house and asked if I just wanted it for free. I guess no one wanted it and again, she didn't want her soon to be ex to have it. So, we gave her $20, we felt bad she was just giving it away and now I have a grandfather clock in my front room :) I feel like such a grown up, hahaha. So now that we are all feeling better, things should go back to normal this week. The only one left a little sick is me and its mainly just an annoying cough. I could guarantee though if Will was here, we wouldn't have been sick, it never happens when he is home, only while he is gone. I guess God knows how much I can handle all at once by myself so He gives it to me :)

By the way, and I by no means meant to put this last, but it was also Wills birthday on Friday!!! He is now a stunning young 33 year old man, we will celebrate after he comes back home, woo hoo.

A Beach Birthday and Re-Enlistment

Ok, I really need to get better about this whole blogging thing!!! But I can thank my new friend Launa for this one, I have the link to our website at the bottom of my e-mails and she said she couldn't get onto it today which made me get on it and FINALLY update this thing, so thank you Launa :) Anyways, lets see what has happened since the last time. Last weekend we had a beach bonfire birthday party for Kendall, that would be party number 2 for her this year, haha. The first thing we did was Pretend City with Grandma and dinner and cake and the whole shebang. Then last weekend we did the bonfire party, lets just say it went smoothly, that's a good word for it. I never knew how much wood you need for a bonfire!!! It seemed like we bought plenty, and maybe 2 hours later when we had no fire and started freezing, we quickly realized it was not enough, lol. But Will saved the day, or at least another hour, by scavenging the riverbed for wood :) However, even with the lack of wood, we still had a great time with the family!!!!!

And today was a milestone in Will's Navy career. He re-enlisted for 2 more years. We weren't actually planning on re-enlisting, for the past 7 years he has just extended until we were able to re-enlist and get a bonus. But, they said in order for us to keep our orders here, he would have to re-enlist for at least 2 years. It turned out well though, he gets to go to another school for re-enlisting as well which is what he wanted. The ceremony was nice too. The guys in his command all went outside into formation and they read him his honorable discharge and maybe a minute later his re-enlistment. He was a civilian for a whole minute, haha!! And then they read me my certificate, and of course I wanted to cry, thank God for sunglasses!!! I even got a certificate too, awwww.

So anyways, this hopefully catches up to our lives and I think I have said it in numerous other posts, I promise to blog more...........or you can always remind me :)

First Epilepsy Alliance meeting

On Friday night we went to our first meeting for the Epilepsy Alliance of Orange County. We went for the Epilepsy 101 which is any and all info about Epilepsy and surgeries to cure it and things along those lines. After that was over, we went to the general meeting. They had a doctor there who spoke about treatment that doesn't involve meds. It was all very informative and scary at the same time. We met some kids who have Epilepsy and heard stories from some parents about their kids. We also met adults who have been recently diagnosed as well. Hayley stayed with us the whole time but Cassidy and Kendall went to day care. The neat thing is that all the workers are CPR certified and trained in how to help seizure victims. One of the girls there was 19 and had the type of Epilepsy that Cass has, it was refreshing to see the future of this disease, it seems so scary. They have monthly meetings and additional meetings available as well, one of them coming up is getting to meet and having the opportunity to buy seizure dogs, they are trained dogs who help children and adults who have seizures, they told us about this one dog who belongs to a little boy and when he has a seizure, the dog moves harmful objects away, lays near his head to make sure he doesn't hit anything and can even dial 911. Another dog was a small dog that an older lady wears in like a baby pouch on her chest. The dog can actually detect that she is going to have a seizure 3 minutes before it happens. The dog barks to let her know so she can find a safe place to sit or lie down at. So cool!!!!! We also found out that they do make a bed sensor that will alarm if Cass has a seizure in the middle of the night.....but it is also $600!!!!! It is a great organization though and if anyone would ever like to come and join us in a meeting, you are more than welcome, there was friends and family members there as well so they can be a support system :)

Happy Birthday Kendall!!!

Today Kendall turned 3, I still cant believe my little girl is 3!!! She is growing up so fast!!!! Next thing I know she will be in school and I will only have my little Hayley at home to snuggle. We didn't do much today for her birthday. She got her birthday pancakes, a yummy dinner and cake of course. Last Saturday we went to the Pretend City Children's Museum, it was fun!!! The girls had a blast. And not this weekend but the following weekend we are having a bonfire beach party for her :) My friend Kristi said it best, she is getting 3 parties for being 3, hahaha. Good thing she wont remember having three parties at three or she might expect the same number of parties to years each year, can you imagine her sixteenth? Haha

A Year Has Passed......

A whole year has gone by since my brother passed away and it still hurts so damn bad!!!! I keep thinking back to last year, getting that phone call from my Aunt and feeling like I was going to die myself. I remember Cassie sitting next to me on our stairs asking why I was sad and she told me "God is good mom, He will send Uncle Justin back here so we don't have to be sad anymore". I wish that was true!!!! I just don't know if the pain will ever go away. I have to admit, I am pretty dang good at hiding my feelings (I know it is not a good thing), but I have been able to push this so far down and not deal with it but today little by little it is flooding out and it hurts so much. I really don't understand still, I just don't know what to do.

I love the beach!!!

After Cass got home from school and Will got home from work, we all headed up to Long Beach to have dinner with my mom. She made an amazing chicken cacciatore, she says she has forgotten how to cook but I beg to differ, it was yummy!!!! The girls loved being at her new place, they were so comfortable there!!! And after dinner, we went a couple yards from my moms place and walked along the beach. Long Beach has a nice bike/pedestrian path, we walked quite a long ways, I think it was so pretty watching the sunset and feeling the breeze we didn't realize we had gone so far. After the walk we had to go back home to get Cass to bed, morning comes way too early on school days!!!!! I am excited to go back though on the weekend sometime and get to see more of downtown!!!!

New home and some progress!!

This past weekend I helped my mom move into her new place in Long Beach. She has a cute apartment that sits right on the beach, it is gorgeous down there!!!!! I am excited to get to see Long Beach now, I think the only time I have ever been there was to take Cass to the aquarium when she was 1, haha. And I really want to go to the Queen Mary!!!! Will was awesome watching the girls for me too, he had them for over 24 hours, needless to say, he got numerous texts from me, I am not good leaving the kiddos, lol, poor guy :)

I also had a meeting with Cassidy's teacher and the assistant principal yesterday. Cass has been sick a lot so she really hasn't been at school but the days she has been there, I guess things are better between her and her bully. And I found out, the girl who is doing the bullying isn't only doing it to Cass. The teacher mentioned the "talk" the assistant principal had with this little girl last week isn't really sinking in too well and she might have to have another with her. I just don't understand how one little girl can be so mean, she is so small, I never thought one could be so evil that young!!!!

Anyways, I am off to Long Beach again to see my mom today, Cass is super excited to finally see Grandma's new place :)

A New Phase In Life Begins

I never thought I would be sitting here writing about my sick child, it really bothers me. This past Saturday morning, Cassidy got up early so we could take her and my mom to the airport to go visit my sister and her kids. Cass came to sit on my lap so I could snuggle her and before I knew it, her whole body got super stiff and her head slowly started turning towards me. Her eyes were glazed over and halfway back in her head and she was making this weird noise. I thought she was doing something weird at first, just messing around but I suddenly realized, my baby isn't breathing!!!!!!! I screamed "Oh my God, she isn't breathing" and as those words came out of my mouth, she started having a seizure. My mom came rushing in and Will ran over, they got her to floor. I left the room to go call 911 and my mom stayed in the living room with her. The seizure lasted for about 2 minutes and then she laid there, not moving and completely "lost", she wouldn't respond to anyone. It seemed like the ambulance took forever to get to the house and once they did, they took her vitals and next thing I knew, we were in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. They hooked her to an iv, took blood and gave her a cat scan there. Then we were transferred to the Children's Hospital of Orange County (CHOC). After an EEG, an MRI plus the neurologist bringing on another seizure, it was determined that she has Epilepsy. She is doing ok, she is on meds two times a day and we are having to put restrictions on some activities. I am completely freaked out and wanting to wake up from this. I keep thinking, my beautiful healthy little girl doesn't have Epilepsy, there is no way!!!! I am scared for the future, scared of this disease!!!!!!!!!

Nothing New

I feel so bad for not posting but things are really boring around here, haha, and I doubt you want to read a whole lot of nothing! We have just been staying around the house for the most part, taking the girls to the park and walking to the beach. Its fun but nothing to write home about. A couple of weeks ago we went to the Cypress Community Festival and got to see my cousins Michael and Jessica perform. They are so talented, I want to cry every time I see them!!!!! That same weekend we went to Bolsa Chica and had a beach day with my family, it was a lot of fun. And tomorrow we are heading up to Big Bear to go camping, woo hoo!!!! I have never been camping so I am a little nervous and don't know what to expect but I am told I will have a ton of fun :) So, the next post will probably have a lot more in it :) Thanks for sticking around to read this one though :)

It's Been Awhile!!!!

I really need to get better at posting blogs!!!!! Lets see, since the last time I posted not too much has happened. Cassidy had her yearly check-up at the doc and she is doing fabulously!!! She is 44 pounds and 45 inches. The doc did mention however that she is very "loose". He held her arm and shook it for us and her hand and everything just seemed to flop everywhere. He said in kids where their muscles are loose, they can get worse growing pains than other kids. Not a big deal, I guess we just give her tums at night if she complains about being sore or hurting in her legs and such. I just feel bad, she has complained sometimes that her legs hurt, it seems to be when we are out shopping or just walking around and I always thought she just wanted to take Kendall's place in the stroller or because she wasn't having fun, now I feel bad that she could have really truly been hurting, that made me feel like the worst mom in the world. She also had a dentist appointment and she has her very first cavity. We took her back 2 days later to have it filled......that didn't go so well. After the shot to numb her, she refused to open her mouth or lay back in the chair. So, we had to reschedule for later this month and supposedly they will be giving her a special drink that knocks her out a little, we will see how that goes. Kendall went to the dentist as well but she is fine, has perfect little teeth. Hayley is getting chubbier every day it seems and she is smiling and cooing a lot more as well, she is such a little angel baby!!!! I got my haircut, woo hoo. Allie (my friends sister) did an amazing job, it is short in the back, maybe 1/2 inch below the nape of my neck and it angles down and hangs on my shoulders in the front. She also did blonde highlights and I feel fantastic. I don't do the style as well as she does but I feel like I look 10 times better than before. Nothing new with Will really, just back to work, coming up on a some field time which means he is gone for a bit, but not too long. Now, lets see if I can keep up with this blog :)

Birthdays

This was a rough week. Wednesday was my brother Justin's birthday and if he was still with us, he would have been 34. I ended up going over to his house to see Brandi, Kayla and his mom Sandi. His friend Jason came over as well and we all headed down to the Huntington pier. Brandi brought some roses from the garden and Sandi had bought Hawaiian lei's. We put the flowers in the water for him, in the spot where his ashes we spread. It was just too much to handle. Seeing Sandi looking out into the water where Justin used to surf and hearing Brandi cry for her husband, it just isn't fair!!!! He needs to be here with us, be a son to his mother, a husband and a daddy. After we were done on the pier we ate at Dukes and then had cake back at the house. It was a beautiful and sad day all in one. I was very blessed to be there and also had a good time with Sandi as well. Then on Friday it was my moms birthday which was a lot happier of a day. We all went out to her work, yes, Will too, he had the day off. We took her out to Olive Garden which was yummy however, they had something wrong with their thickening agent they said so nothing that had any type of cream sauce on it could be ordered. I wanted my chicken and gnocchi dang it!!!!! We also forgot her present at home like a dunce. Good thing I see her on Wednesday, after I get my hair done, woo hoo!!!!!!

A Great Weekend

This weekend turned out to be a very good one. On Saturday, we all met my mom at the Irvine Spectrum. She hadn't actually been there and had the chance to walk around and we love it so we all met down there. We had some lunch and then did a bit of shopping. I found my dress for Erin's wedding, thanks mom, and so all I need now are shoes, woo hoo for shoe shopping!!!! The girls also got to ride the ferris wheel with daddy, they love that dang thing, unlike me, lol. After we left there, we headed back home so I could get ready for Erin's bachelorette party at the house. It was a surprise so I was pretty excited..............and then nobody showed up :( I don't know her new friends, I mean gosh, I haven't lived here in almost 7 years so I was relying on people I don't know to come. And they said they would but of course did not show up. Not a good first impression. So, it turned out to be just me, Erin, Bre and Allie. It was pretty nice, we had a Passion party consultant come and since it was just us, we talked about high school and all of our fun memories, I have really missed my friends!!!! I did however drink a little much so later on that night and the following morning were not fun at all. I felt so old, I definitely did not spring back as quickly as I used to, lol. After we all got ready on Sunday, we headed out to Corona to my grandparents house to have Fathers Day and celebrate my Papa's birthday. My cousin Brooke and her mom Connie were there visiting from North Carolina, I hadn't seen them in probably 5 or 6 years and it was so good to see them!!!! Now all I need to see is Renee and it will all be better :) Will is off this week so I hopefully will have a ton of help with the girlies and get to relax some..............lol.

Doctors Appointments

Both Hayley and I had doctors appointments this last week. Hayley had her cardiology appointment. When she was born they heard a heart murmur, it seemed to stay or get stronger with each appointment, and right after she was born we seemed to have an appointment every other day since she was considered failure to thrive. When she was admitted, they told me they wanted me to make a cardio appointment. I did, but it was not until this last week (of course you cant get a quick appointment). And on top of that, it was half-way to San Diego, luckily Cassidy was out of school so I didn't have to worry about her as well. Besides the major accident that shut the freeway down and made us almost an hour late, the appointment went well. Hayley weighed in at 12 pounds 5 ounces, that's my girl :) She is showing them the whole failure to thrive was just a little joke on her part. She definitely is filling in nicely :) The doc told me that she has peripheral pulmonary stinosis, I know I spelled that completely wrong. But, in other words, her pulmonary artery is narrowed by the surrounding tissue which makes it harder for blood to flow through, which causes the murmur. He said to treat her like any other normal little girl but that he wants to see us back in December to look at it again. She was a trooper the whole time, even when they had the cords hooked up to her, she was all smiles :) Then the following day I had my appointment. It was my third doc I have had here so far and I think I am keeping this one, he seems normal. I had him check my moles, I was worried about one of them. He said they all look normal but if any bothered me at all, that he could take them off. One under my arm that is pretty big has always bothered me so I asked him to do that one. He did it with liquid nitrogen. When he put it in the cup, it started steaming and sizzling, not sounding too good to me, lol. Then he got a small q-tip to put in the middle. Saying he "put it in the middle" is a nice way of saying, he burned the hell out of my arm!!!!! After he got done with the small one, he grabbed an extra large one and proceeded to burn the rest and a surrounding area. It is 2 days later and I have an enormous blister surrounding my mole and the blister is surrounded in a 5 inch diameter by a large white puffy skin thing. So gross. It doesn't hurt today though, the first day it felt like someone was singing off my arm!!!! He asked if I wanted any more done and thank God I said no, lol. I will keep you posted in December on how Hayley is doing.

Last Day Of School

How did I get such a grown little girl? Today is Cassidy's last day of first grade. I still find it hard to believe that she is even in first grade, let alone done with it and heading to second soon. She got to wear her special shirt today. Her teacher made them all shirts with a class pic on it and had everyone sign it. On the back it says "Wild Things 08-09". On the board outside of her classroom, she had zebra stripes and all the kids pics of them doing like lion roars and things, she called her class the "wild things", it is so cute to see all the kids doing their faces, lol. I got all choked up taking her to school this morning too. She was fine and so excited and I was so sad, I hate good-byes, lol, even when they aren't mine. And this is actually the first time she has had an official last day of school. When she was in Pre-school, we moved from Virginia to Illinois so she didn't get to finish her year there and then last year for Kindergarten, we came out here to see my brother and didn't get back until after school was out. So, now that she will be home all summer, I better find some fun things to do or I think I will be hearing how bored she is, lol. She already asked me if we could use all the money we get back from the school to go somewhere really fun. What money?!! Hahahahaha. She is so funny.

She's Growing Up Too Fast

Tomorrow starts the last week of first grade for Cassidy. I don't know why I am so sad. It just seems like she is growing up so fast!!! I can actually vividly remember second grade and beyond and she is at that age now. I remember bits and pieces of first grade but second grade, I remember a lot. That's also where I met my friend Kristina and we are still good friends today. I remember doing The Little Mermaid play with her in front of our class, I was Ariel and she was Ursula :) And sleepovers. She actually told me the other day she had been invited to a sleepover!!! I know she is getting older but I don't even let her play outside by herself let alone let her go to a strangers house. I told Will and his exact words were "Oh hell no", but I told Cassidy as long as she gets an invitation and I can go see this girls parents ahead of time then she might be able to go. I really don't think I am wanting to let my little girl grow up!!!!!!!! Life flies by way too fast sometimes!

Hayley Update

Hayley had her 2 month check-up today and it went well. She has definitely gained the weight she had lost and then some. She is now 11 pounds and 2 ounces. I knew she had gained some weight, I can see it in her sweet little double chin and she is getting some chunk to her thighs as well. She is such an amazing and sweet little girl!!! She did have to get some shots today which is never fun, I feel so bad. And I am so on the fence about getting immunizations at all. I know my kids need them so they don't get sick and possibly die from some horrid disease however, I am so nervous about the side effects. I have seen and read a lot that Jenny McCarthy has put out and it is so scary. I hate having to make the decision on whether to give my kids something that is good and bad all at the same time. Who knew parenting came with such responsibility? No one tells you about these kinds of things before you have babies :)

Milestones

Yesterday was a beautiful and hard day all rolled into one. My beautiful niece Kayla turned 1!!!! She is so darn cute and loved eating her cake, I think her hands were blue for a little while after :) It was really good seeing her momma Brandi as well. Of course, the difficult part was not having Justin there to see his little girl reach a big milestone. I know he would have been so proud. They planted an avocado tree in the backyard too and spread some of his ashes before putting the tree in. Since I was not allowed to come to his service back in September because of doctors orders, this was the first time I had actually "let him go". It hurt so bad. I just really want him here, to be able to see him hold his little girl and to hear him say I love you again. I would give anything.....................

A Very Busy Weekend!!!!

The weekend actually started Thursday night. My sister and her 4 kids flew in and my mom and I went to the airport to pick her up. It was well after midnight when we got back to the house but Kendall woke up the minute she heard kids in the house :) On Friday we all went out to my moms graduation from the University of La Verne. It was a nice ceremony and we were able to sit front row on the right side of the stage, which also meant that the kids had plenty of room to run. They had a lot of fun playing together and then some huge kid, or should I say teenager, fell right on top on Kendall. And it wasn't a light fall, he fell hard. He knocked the wind right out of her and she kept saying her head hurt and she wanted to go to sleep. Great!!! So, we had to keep her up for at least another hour just to make sure she didn't get a concussion. After we got home and the kids were in bed we celebrated. Or at least I did, lol. I did some tequila shots and we all sat around talking. Then on Saturday, Cassidy turned 7!!!!!!!!! I still cant believe that she is 7 already!!!! We didn't do much, but the kids got to play and we had a BBQ. Growing up my sister had a friend Ashley and she wanted to see Nikky while she was here so she came down with her husband, mom and her moms husband. They were a lot of fun too!!!! Then on Sunday we drove out to Corona to visit my Grandparents before taking Nikky, the kids and my mom all to the airport. After we dropped them off, we met my friend Kristina at Starbucks. I hadn't seen her since 8th grade!!!! We talked about her wedding, which I am in, I am so excited!!!! Her mom showed up about an hour after we got there and it was really nice to see her too. The girls had fun with them, and then Cassidy called Linda (Kristina's mom) Grandma............gotta zip that girls mouth sometimes, lol. It was a very busy weekend and so the nothingness that has gone on in this house today is very much welcome!!!!! Today I am thinking a lot about my friend Erin though. I know on days like today she is missing Jessiah even more. I cant even imagine!!! So, today, thank a uniformed service member and remember those who gave their lives so we can be free. They have families back home who have to go on without them and the pain is sometimes too much to bear.

Graduation!!!!

Today Will graduated from the Field Medical Training Battalion. My cousin Brittney and Aunt Mickie came as well. Cassidy wasn't there because she had school and has missed too many days as it is and will miss this Friday too. The ceremony was really nice. We sat in the perfect place to see him. And I cried but only a little and that was when they were talking about the sacrifice they are making for their country and honoring those who sacrificed all. I am so proud of Will, he has gone through so much and worked really hard and to see the payoff was amazing.

He's Home!

Will's school is pretty much over so they are now allowing the guys to come home at night. All that is left to do before next week's graduation is cleaning things and turning in their gear. He still has to go in early everyday but he gets to be home at night and also the whole weekend. He was exhausted from being out in the field for 3 days and their 8 mile hike but it was still nice having him home. We all got to sit around the dinner table together!!!!!

Sibling Rivalry

I don't know if it is the age difference or just normal sibling stuff but the girls have been fighting a lot with one another. And this morning it ended with blood. I was so happy laying in bed, Hayley was sleeping all peacefully and I was excited to get some sleep. Cassidy is sick and so she was staying home so there was no need for me to get up and rush around, I was excited. And then I heard the girls in Cassidy's room. Obviously they were up. I heard them bickering and heard slapping noises and as I was on my way down the hall to stop the fighting, I heard a huge thud like sound, almost like a piece of furniture falling or something, it didn't sound like it could be human. I walked faster and when I got into the room I see Kendall bent over laying on the floor, doing the silent cry. Next came the loud scream and crying. I asked Cassidy what happened and of course, in her eyes, nothing at all happened. I picked Kendall up and that's when I saw the blood gushing out of her nose. So, this time I asked Cassidy what happened and I asked more sternly (that's putting it nicely, lol). She said she hit Kendall and threw her off the bed!!!! I brought Kendall into the bathroom to check her out and the blood wouldn't stop. So, I called my mom to ask what a broken nose looks like because I had never seen one and there was a lot of blood. As I was talking to her, Kendall informed me she was "all better mommy" so I knew it wasn't broken, lol. I cant believe Cassidy did that, is fighting that bad normal? They haven't played with one another since, lol. Not because they dont want to but I have decided not to let them today. Plus, Cassidy is sick and I don't want Kendall or Hayley getting it so Cass is in her room with the mini dvd player. She is pretty content being in her own world today, lol.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Today was a good day, and Will got to be here with us too!!! I didn't get to spend Mother's Day with my mom because she was spending some quality time with a friend, which is much needed but I did have a good day anyway. Will came home this morning and brought me a little gift. He wrote a really nice card and also gave me the movie Marley and Me. I cant wait to watch it now. After we all got ready we headed to my Aunt Mickie's house. All my cousins were there along with my grandma, uncle, his girlfriend and my other uncles parents. Aunt Mickie bbq'd and Uncle Bill played bartender, I had a yummy Lemon Drop Martini!!! And did you know you can make creamed corn from scratch? It is waaaaay better than in the can and was super yummy!!!! We had to leave early because Will had to be back to the school house by 5:45 (he wasn't even supposed to be off base in the first place) but we all had a good time. I hope everyone else had a great Mothers Day as well!!!!

I Guess It Was Going To Happen Sometime

Last night was horrible. Out of no where it hit me, my brother is gone. I know it may seem odd since he passed away almost 8 months ago but I lived so far away and didn't get to see him until I came out here for trips so it was easy to trick myself into believing he really wasn't gone. I told myself that I would deal with it when I got out here. It is hard to avoid him being out here, I live 1/2 mile from the beach and everywhere I go, I see places we went together. But, after moving here, I have avoided the beach and was kept pretty busy unpacking and having a baby so again, I tricked myself. Until last night. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like someone was shouting "HELLO, YOUR BROTHER IS GONE AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN". It physically hurt, I had to sit down and try to catch my breath. I started crying and felt like I couldn't breath. I knew I was going to have to deal with him being gone at some point but there was a big part of me that wanted to never have to deal with it. I was hoping I could trick myself for the rest of my life. It just hurts, it physically hurts to know he is gone. To walk in his house and not have him be there. I really don't want to have to deal with this!!!!