Mary and Joseph

Yesterday was an exact week since my brother left. It was a really rough day. I don't know if this pain is ever going to get any better.

Yesterday was also the day I performed. It went really well. And after my last performance, the lady who directed it approached Will and I and said that she wants me to play Mary in the Christmas play. As we were talking about it, she mentioned that they still needed someone to play Joseph and she kind of looked at Will. So I asked if she was asking if he wanted to do it and she said, it would be nice to have you both in it. So, this Christmas, Will and I will be Mary and Joseph......I don't know how excited he is, I think he is a little nervous but I am stoked :)

Update

I haven't wanted to be on here at all, but I made this site and promised to keep it updated so that's what I am going to do. This week has been horrible. My brother Justin passed away on Sunday at the age of 33. He had fought for a long time but just couldn't do it anymore. I know he is in Heaven looking down on me and the rest of the family but I still want him here so bad it hurts. So, needless to say, I haven't wanted to do anything and the only reason I am on here is to try to take my mind off of things. Something else happened this week, on Monday, Kendall turned two. It was the day after Justin passed so it was a horrible day to try to get through but I did. We even had a little party for Kendall. We took her and couple of her friends to Chuck E Cheese, she had a blast!!!!!!!! Please keep me and my family in your prayers, this is a horrible time for us!!!

Sleep Study

Will finally went in for a sleep study. He was gone last night through this morning. I guess they have 300 or so pages of results they have to go through but before he left they said he snores a ton and his breathing isn't right when he is asleep. So now we just wait on the tests to come back. I know he snores a ton, I am downstairs right now and he is up in our room sleeping but I swear it sounds like he is right next to me, and he stops breathing during the night, it used to freak me out when we were first together but I have become used to it, even though it is not good for him. So, hopefully we can get this fixed.

Housing in California

We have been looking for a house out in California and I have been getting pretty worried. I thought we would be getting bah (military housing allowance) for San Diego which can get us a nice sized house, however, since we will now be stationed north, even though it is only an hour, our bah drops. So, I am been really worried, thinking we will end up in a tiny apartment. However, since Camp Pendleton is so huge, they have a ton of housing and it is really nice as well!!! And we don't have to be there to get on the list!!!! On every military base we have been stationed at, we had to actually be there in person to get on the housing list or into a home. I guess the Marines do things a little different and realize that people need a home BEFORE they actually move. So, Will sent in the info today, hopefully we hear back soon!!!!!

Confused

Yesterday the lady who did my ultrasound said that everything looked great. However, I just received a phone call from my doctors office saying that the baby looks good but that I have quite a bit of bruising on my uterus which could cause some bleeding so I just need to take things easy. I don't know if the lady yesterday didn't notice and my doc looked at it more closely or if she couldn't say anything since she is not my doc. It just makes me nervous. I know the baby is fine and will be fine but until the bruising goes away I am nervous.

We Have A Date!!!!

We just got our hard copy orders this morning and we are able to leave her on February 11!!!!! So, in about 145 days we can leave the bitter cold of winter in Illinois and head out to warm and sunny Cali, woo hoo!!!

We Saw The Baby!!!!

Well, as I mentioned in my last post, last night while I was working, I fell. So, this morning I called the doctor and they wanted to see me. Will was able to get off work to come with me too. We got to hear the heartbeat at the office, it was 169 which I guess is good. Then they said to make sure everything was ok, they wanted to have me go for an ultrasound. So, we drove over to that office and got to see the baby!!!! It was moving quite a bit, and then once it started to settle down, it stretched real big and curled into a ball, with its butt in the air, so cute!!! And we got about 3 different pics. I swear in one of them I see little boy parts, we shall see, but that made me happy. And seeing it move and hearing its heartbeat was amazing!!!!

My First Old Moment!!!

I was working at Gymboree last night doing inventory and there are a couple girls who are 17 there and some just a little bit older. One of my managers is just a couple years older than me and we started talking about a band from the 90's, it was a pretty popular band and were all over the radio. As we were talking about them, most of the girls said "who?"........I thought they were joking at first but the girls had no idea who we were talking about. Of course I couldn't remember a single song, I kept thinking of every other song I know. But, I felt so old, they had no idea who I was talking about. And to make matters worse, my manager said, well, they were out around 1994, one of the girls then said "Oh, well I was probably only going on 5 then", oh gosh, I feel old!!!

Also, while I was working last night, I fell. It wasn't a big fall but when I hit the ground I had a huge pain shoot through my belly. So, as soon as the doctors office opens this morning I am going to be calling to see if I should come in, it makes me nervous!!!

We Have Orders!!!!!

We will finally be moving back to California in February!!! Will is going to be stationed at Camp Pendleton where he will begin training with the Marines in March. That lasts three months and after that, we don't know what will happen. He could be deployed, we will have to wait and see. However, he will be home to see the baby born!!!!!

Also, today Will had an upper GI Scope, they took some biopsies and he is pretty out of it. Please keep him in prayer. Hopefully we can find out what has been going on with him....finally!!!!

Is It The Weekend Yet?

Wow, as yesterday went on, it got even worse. I got a phone call from the school counselor telling me that Cassidy had run away from school. However, I didn't even get the phone call until AFTER they had found her and brought her back to school and calmed her down and sent her back to class!!!! I was so mad!!!! She hates this school so much that she is willing to just run away and try to find her way home. I obviously talked to her when I picked her up about how wrong it is and how something could have happened. But when I tried to talk to the principal, she didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal. I don't know if it is going to take a kid running away form school and actually getting hurt for them to care. I cant transfer her out of the district and we cannot afford private school, I just wish Wills orders would hurry up so we could move out of here.

What A Monday!!!!

Cassidy freaked out again today when I dropped her off. I was told just to drop her off and go. So, I got out of the car with her, gave her hugs and kisses and told her to go to her line and she was screaming. I told her to turn around and walk to her line and she went a little bit so I started to go back to the car and she ran to me. She did this over and over until some nice lady asked what class she was in and took her for me. I don't know how to keep her from doing this every morning!!! I am told once she is in school she is fine. And then Will told me he got us free Faith Hill concert tickets for Wednesday, I was so excited. I guess she is making her Christmas cd and invited military for free. But, I have a rehearsal and meeting that night I cannot get out of, so no Faith Hill for me :(

Breakfast in bed!!!

Will is amazing :) This morning he not only let me sleep in, he woke me up with a tray of french toast in bed!!!! French toast is my favorite, and he made it just for me. Kendall soon followed him up the stairs and crawled into bed right next to me and shared. She even tried to take my pre-natal vitamin, she just grabbed it and said "mmmmm, cani" which means "candy". She was so quick, but spit it out when she tasted it, hahaha. So needless to say, I had a great morning :)

Such A Rough Morning!!!

Dropping off Cassidy at school today was rough!!! She started crying when we were still in the car, telling me "I don't want to go to school". I told her she had to, it was Friday and she would have the next two days off. She was pretty upset still when she got out of the car, I gave her hugs and kisses and told her she needed to go to her line for her class and she made it half-way there, then turned around waving and crying. As I was getting into the car, she ran to me crying even harder. I got out, gave her more hugs and tried to ask her what was wrong. A little boy came up and said "she does that everyday, she always says she wants her mommy". I ended up parking the car and taking her into the office to see the school social worker. We were able to go into her office and try to calm her down enough for her to go to class. It really didn't help any. The lady asked her if she didn't go to school, how was she going to learn and she said "my mommy can teach me at home". After about 7 minutes of us trying to calm her down, the lady decided I needed to leave because my presence was only making her want to go home even more. She told me to give her a quick hug and kiss good-bye and that she would help her after that. So, I picked Kendall up and gave her hugs and kisses, told her I loved her and would see her later and proceeded to walk out of the room. As I was closing the door she started screaming like someone was killing her, begging me "don't leave me here, I want to go home", I felt like I was such a bad mom!!!!!! The lady called a little over an hour after I left and said she had finally calmed down and was in a classroom with another teacher who was helping her with her work. I guess she told them she didn't like her new teacher because she makes her learn things she doesn't understand. So, I guess we will go from here. She has been so attached to me lately, I think it has a lot to do with the new baby, so I am going to go out somewhere with just her tonight so we can talk and she can feel like she is still special. But man, what a morning!!!

Big Girl Bed!!!

Today Kendall decided she wanted to sleep in the big girl bed we have in her room. Before Kendall was born, we bought bunk beds and the top one has rails that go all the way around. Kendall had always been in her crib but when we moved into the new house, we took the bunk bed apart and put the one with the rails in Kendall's room. So, today at nap time, she decided she wanted to sleep in it. So, I tucked her in and put the gate on her door so she couldn't climb down the stairs if she got out. I just went up to check on her and she was fast asleep. My little baby is sleeping in a big girl bed :( She is growing up way too fast.

Cassidy is a super 1st grader!!!!

I was really nervous for her to start school, not only because I cannot stand this school district, it is horrible and the main district in Illinois that is considered poverty stricken, great huh? But last year she had a horrible teacher who didn't care what she didn't understand as long as she got her through the year. So, her teacher sent home a packet today from their work last week and her penmanship is actually pretty good. I didn't really get a good feel for her teacher when I met her, she was very standoffish but I think she may be a little more strict than the last which is what she needs. She did put that her work was "poor" on one of her papers and I could not see what was wrong so she may be a little too strict, but I think Cassidy will do good......until we move and I put her in a better school district in California.