Guilty

Hello, my name is Kaleena and I am addicted to the Real Housewives, any of them really, except maybe the new one in Miami, I haven't been able to really get into that one.  However, I am addicted!!!  Can you imagine my reaction then when I went shopping at my local mall and right there in the Nordstrom shoe area was Tamra Barney from the real Housewives of OC?!!  I died!!!  I questioned for a long time whether or not to go up to her and say hi and ask for a picture but if any of you have ever watched the show, she isn't the nicest of gals.  and that day, she looked exceptional ticked off.  And a little tore up, I am just sayin, I am sure she gets plenty of hair and make-up to get her to look glam and ti made em feel better knowing she walks around with greasy hair with the extensions clearly showing and not a stitch of make-up on her face.  She was still gorgeous and tiny, don't get me wrong, but she was un-done quite a bit.  Anyways, as was mentioned, she is not always so nice and I had a quick flash of me being nice and asking her for a picture and her giving me the devil stare and yelling at me and having everyone look, so I moved on, not after 15 minutes or so of pretending to look at shoes so I could see her and wonder what she was buying, ha.
So, this brings me to where I am currently.  I am leaving for a getaway this weekend and I am super stoked.  I have been doing laundry and packing and planning and realized while all of this was happening that I am white.  Ok, so it wasn't a big realization since I have known this since birth but seriously, my legs could be a beacon in the dark to get planes, trains and automobiles home safely, it is nutty.  And people always say they aren't that bad, until they see me in a dress and it is always hard for them to hide their shock, how white can legs be?!!!  So, since I will be wearing dresses on my excursion, I decided to spray tan.  I am sure you can only imagine my excitement when I found out that my local place here is the same place that spray tans the Real Housewives of OC and they have been on the show.  I am seriously addicted people.  So, the appointment was booked and in I went.  I have to say, it is a really embarrassing place to be if you are not 100% confident with the fitness level of your body.  I was told to wear bottoms and nothing else.  They give you a robe but once inside the curtained area, it must come off.  I did a swift move of whipping it off and using my hands as shields so no one could see anything but the sweet girl quickly told me to put my arms in the air.  Lets just say it was an awkward 20 minutes but she was sweet as all get out and made me feel comfy, even when she told me to stick my butt out so she could get it properly, yes ma'am.  Now get this, you cannot shower for 12 hours after being sprayed, the tan needs time to set in your skin so it will last.  Ok, no problem, I shower in the morning anyway so it is not a big deal.  That is until I woke up this morning with brownish orange all over my bed (which does wash out, no worries) and my daughter telling me "mom, you look like a rotten orange", really?  Great!  That was EXACTLY the look I was going for.  I drove her to school wondering if people laughed as the rotten orange drove by but I was hidden under my Jackie O glasses and a hoodie, I was not taking that much of a risk looking like a crazy orange.  As soon as I got home it was shower time and thank goodness I am ok.  I saw tons of color go down my drain and wondered if it all came off but the orange and sharp color came off and I am left with a nice tan.  I am super stoked and now probably addicted to the spray tan.  I may need an intervention soon, or maybe a guest role on the Real Housewives, I feel like I am one of them :)