So this weekend as I did my normal cleaning I decided we only have 3 weeks left and I need to start getting the house ready for the move or I am going to be cleaning a lot in the one day we have after they take our stuff and before we turn in our keys. So, in the stairway, upstairs hallway and our bathroom, not only did I clean but I took the stuff off the walls and painted all our nicks and scratches. The rooms all look so empty but that makes me happy. I am hoping if I do this to every room that the day I do my cleaning I will only have to do touch-ups and then clean the carpet, not too bad. Yesterday was hard too. I had my ipod on while I was painting the hallway and the song Somewhere Over The Rainbow by that Hawaiian guy Israel came on and that song always makes me think of Justin. So I was thinking of him and then of course of our move and it hit me again, he isn't going to be there when we get to California. I keep thinking on my head that I will go to his house and be able to talk to him and go out like we used to when I was out here.....but I cant do that anymore.....ever. So, I tried to keep painting but I had to stop because I couldn't see through my tears. I am getting kind of nervous about going back for that reason. It has been so easy to not deal with him being gone out here, but there is no way to avoid it once we are out there and I am scared of what that might be like. I have never had to grieve and I especially don't want it to be for my brother. I just miss him so much!!!
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