Monday, August 30, 2010

Back To School

It is hard to believe that summer is already over for us and even harder to think that I have a third grader in my house.  I am so proud and excited for her, catch me here next week when I blubber over my middle ones very first day of school ever, then you will get tears.  But today I am excited to pick up my big girl from school and hear how her first day went.  She really didn't even want to go.  She was scared and very timid.  If you know my girl, with all she has been through, she is very sensitive and needs acceptance from everyone.  When someone doesn't have time to play, she doesn't brush it off and find someone else to play with, it becomes the worst thing in life and she goes to her room to cry.  I wish I could be at school and make sure she has someone to talk to, someone who will see just how cool she is and she will make a best friend.  I do think back to her first day of school ever, my little girl in front of our apartment in Virginia Beach, VA, she was so excited!


Oh how tiny she was!!!  Flash forward to this morning.............





Geez time flies!!!!  And it looks like someone got a better camera too :)  And should I even mention that those pants she is wearing in her pre-school picture don't even fit our middle one anymore?  She was smaller than my middle one is now!!!  Ugh, my heart just tried to leap out of my chest!!!  Happy first day to all the kids who went back today!!!!!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Scrapbook Paper Flower

If you haven't been over to the Blueberry Monkey yet, I highly suggest that you so.  She is so amazingly crafty it is nuts!!!!  One of the many crafts I have carefully logged into the back of my head for later was her scrapbook wall flowers.  They are super cute and I have a ton of scrapbook paper.  Years and years ago I started scrap booking so we could have all of our pictures and memories in sweet little books, however, 3 kids later I rarely have time to sit and scrapbook, maybe one day.  And then I think of the mounds of pictures I would have to organize before attempting to make a book and I shudder.  So, for now, I used my paper and made one of her super cute flowers.  It took quite a few different sheets of paper, that way I didn't re-use the same pattern too much but I am sure it would look cute with more of a pattern.  Here is my finished flower......

And here it is in my babies room, right above her rocking chair that has always been bare.....


Isn't it cute?!!!!!  My other two have been asking for some for their room and I have been thinking of having my Girl Scouts do it for a craft, using Girl Scout scrapbook paper.  Make sure you go to her blog to see how it is done, she also has an example where she folds the petals to give it more of a three dimensional look!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Quote

You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.

Frederick Buechner, Telling The Truth

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Pasta Primavera

This was one yummy dinner!!!  I doubled up the recipe, but forgot to buy double the asparagus, but to be honest, it was just the right amount.  If you double, you can always double the asparagus but it tastes just fine without it.


What you will need:

8 ounces bow-tie pasta
3 tablespoons butter
1 pound asparagus, cut into 3/4-inch pieces
1 cup shredded carrots
1/2 cup frozen baby peas
3/4 cup half and half
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup finely shredded parmesan cheese, divided
1/4 cup copped fresh basil

What to do:

Cook the pasta in a pot of boiling salted water according to the package directions; drain.  While the pasta is cooking, melt the bitter in a large deep skillet over medium-high heat.  Add the asparagus; cook for 2 minutes.  Add the carrots and peas, cook for 3 minutes or until the vegetables are crisp-tender(I did 6 minutes at this point  since I doubled the recipe).  Reduce the heat to medium-low.  Add half and half and salt and cook for one more minute or until the half and half is hot but not boiling.  Add the cooked and drained pasta to the skillet and toss.  Add 1/2 cup of the cheese and toss.  Serve the pasta sprinkled with the remaining 1/4 cup cheese and the basil.  Serve with some yummy french bread and dinner will be amazing!!!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Done

Today we went to my Papa's funeral, I am pretty sure you know the day that was had.  So, today we will not have a witty, fun, sad, or intellectual post because tonight, we are all huddled up in jammies, spending time together and eventually ready for some sleep.  Amen!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Anniversary

Yesterday marked an important milestone in my older girls life.  One year to the day was the first time she ever had a seizure and the day we were told she had Epilepsy.  The day still stands out in my mind, I can relive it like it was yesterday.  Cass was so excited.  For months she was excited because on August 22, 2009 she would be taking her first plane ride with her Grandma to go see her Aunt, Uncle and cousins in Washington.  The day had finally come.  Grandma was spending the night so they could get up super early to go to the airport.  I went to her room around 4 am.  I remember her waking up all sweetly and giving her a hug.  I told her it was time to get ready and how much I would miss her.  She looked straight in my eyes and told me that she would be ok, everything would be ok.  I didn't know then but those words would be something I would come to cling to in the next 24 hours.  It was a quick morning, she got dressed in a sweat outfit so she would be comfy on the plane, I threw her hair up in a ponytail and she was good to go.  Will was up too and we all headed downstairs.  My mom was still getting ready in the bathroom around he corner and Will, Cass and I were sitting on the couches in the living room.  Cass was sitting with Will and he was telling her to be good and he would miss her.  She said he was silly, walked across the room and onto my lap.  That's when it happened.  I didn't know what was going on at first, her face was looking away from me so I couldn't see her, but I heard this strange noise she was making.  I looked her way (still on my lap) and her arms were frozen up near her chest.  Since I couldn't see her face I assumed she was joking around being a dinosaur or something.  I even told her "Cass what are you doing?.............Cass?  Cassidy?!!!!"  As I was saying this, her head was slowly turning toward me.  And when I say slow, I mean slooooow.  As soon as she turned to me, her eyes met mine and I could see her mouth was blue and her eyes half back in her head.  "Oh my God, she isn't breathing!!!!!!"  As soon those words came out of my mouth Will jumped up and my mom came running.  I was standing by then with her in my arms, lifeless but stiff as a board.  Then the shaking began, a violent shaking so rough I felt I would drop her and so I put her on the floor.  My world at that moment was spinning.  My mom was standing over her trying to get her to come to.  Foam started to come out of her mouth and by then I was running up the stairs to get to the phone.  I came down with 911 on the phone and all I could see was my pale faced unconscious little girl.  My mom asking her to wake up......I ran outside.  I screamed for help, 911 was not there and I wanted help!!!!  Please someone, help my little girl.  My neighbors heard my screams and came running.  They dashed inside, another neighbor came to see if I was ok.  She just held on to me and waited for the paramedics to come.  And they took forever!!!  I know we live in new housing but they should know their dang streets!!!  A police officer was driving by and we flagged him down and he was able to get a hold of the crew and tell them where to go.  The operator kept asking me if she was breathing, I just couldn't bring myself to go inside.  I knew my mom and Will could handle it, I was a mess and seeing my girl on the floor not moving scared the hell out of me!!!  That's when the flashing lights started coming down my street.  The paramedics jumped out and went inside.  I followed, a little more comforted knowing they could help my sweet girl.  She was laying there with her head to the side blankly staring at the couch, not responding to anyone.  About 5 minutes after the paramedics got there all of a sudden she looked at my mom.  She looked so confused, I wanted to grab her and hold her and tell her how much I loved her, how sorry I was for running and leaving her, to let her know I would never run again.  But I couldn't, they needed their space to run tests.  They were very sweet to her but you could tell she had no clue what was going on.  To her, she was just sitting on my lap ready to go on a trip and the next thing she was on the floor with grandma and the paramedics surrounding her.  They said she was stable and that we would be going by ambulance to the hospital.  I knew I needed to go with her, I would not be able to drive first of all and not knowing if she was ok would drive me nuts.  Will drove behind us and my mom stayed with the younger 2 girls.  Before we left I remember asking my mom if she was ok because I was a wreck, she said she would be but I knew she was just as shaken as I was.  We made it to the local hospital where they would put in an IV, do a cat scan and run some blood work.  All the while calling around to local children's hospitals because after all, it was Saturday at 5 am and no specialists seemed to be working at any hospital that day.  Eventually they got confirmation from Children's Hospital of Orange County (CHOC) and withing 2 hours we were being transported again.  The people at CHOC were amazing!  They made my little one feel good and tried to put me at ease.  Will was able to get there within the next hour.  We had a nurse come in to perform an EEG, that's where they stick little nodules on your head that connect to a computer and they read your brain activity.  I was looking at the screen but of course had no clue what any of it meant.  But I knew it was not right.  The nurse had this look on her face and kept highlighting certain areas.  She kept telling Cass it was ok every time the lines went funny and Cass would curl her toes and get tense.  The nurse didn't even finish.  She excused herself and came running back in with the neurologist.  He looked at the screen, saw the parts she highlighted and told her she could stop the test.  He said that he would be back in to see us in just a bit.  They took the stuff off her head, which is held on by weird gooey sticky glue.  Will and I took our little girl into the bathroom and gently washed her hair and all the yuck away.  When we came out our doc was in the room.  Cass was put back in bed.  The doc said he just wanted to do one more test.  He had Cass sit up a little and start breathing heavily as if she had been running.  He was doing it too and having her follow him and before I knew it, she was back into a seizure.  He seemed pleased to know that happened but I looked away and couldn't help but cry.  What was going on?!!!!!  She was fine yesterday, she was healthy!!!!!  He sat us down and gave us some papers.  He told us she had something called Epilepsy.  That she would be getting an MRI done to make sure that no damage had been done to her brain and then we would start her on medicine, medicine she would be taking for the rest of her life.  He left the room and I told Will I had to leave for a minute.  I went down the hallway, into the elevator and lost it.  I felt so empty, I felt like the weight of the world was on top of me, I felt like someone had ripped open my chest and took my heart out.  I had to go outside and breath.  I had to call my mom, call my family.  I told them about this thing called Epilepsy, what it was, what it meant, saying the word was so strange to me.  But I knew I had to face it. I knew I needed to  cry, to scream and ask why......and then I knew I needed to go upstairs and be my little girls rock.  To make her laugh and see her smile.  So I did.  The nurse wasn't too sure if the MRI would be a success that day, the anesthesiologists were gone for the weekend and most kids and even adults needed to be sedated for the MRI because they had a hard time keeping still.  We said we would try and if it failed we would come back during the week.  Can I just say, my little girl rocked!!!!!!!  She laid still the whole time, for 45 minutes she laid there and didn't move a muscle!!  The doc told us everything looked fine but would have the other doc read it and let us know for sure before we left the hospital.  All of the nurses were so proud of Cass, they all came in with gifts and hugs.  Did I mention  how amazing the people at CHOC are?  That night was rough.  Cass slept the whole night but I think I only got 30 minutes.  I kept waking up to check on her, scared something would happen once I closed my eyes.  So I opted to stay awake.  I sat and watched her, I cried, I prayed to God for her to be ok.  The papers they give you to read have some awful stuff on them, I know they need to give you all the scenarios but it is a scary thing to read!  And the video they had us watch wasn't much better.  We left the hospital the next day, with her new meds in hand and a sweet smiling little girl.  She was pretty tired for the next 3 weeks, just wanting  to lay on the couch but week by week she was stronger.  We are now on her third medication.  The first 2 didn't work and she would have small seizures.  She is doing fantastic these days!!  Her last EEG was her best one to date and she is a champ at them.  She still has some problems and I know that even though things are great now, that they may not be in the future, but I stronger and know that whatever happens, we will get through it.
Whenever I read stories of tragedy and triumph or kids who are sick, I always want to know how I can help.  There are many ways to help Cass and other kids (and adults) just like her who are living with Epilepsy.  You can donate money to causes that help find a cure.  We love the Epilepsy Foundation, they are a nationwide organization but they also had different local branches.  You can also participate in activities that raise awareness and money to help find a cure.  On October 17 we will be walking for a cure in the Epilepsy Freedom Walk, if you would like to walk with us as part of team Cassidy, let me know, we would love to have as many people as possible!!!!!  And if you cannot donate money or time, please take a moment and be informed.  There are many amazing sites that give great information.  Helping someone while they have a seizure is easier than you think.  Here are just a few things:

1. Never try to stop a person from having a seizure, holding them down can hurt them more.
2. Never stick anything in the persons mouth.  They cannot swallow their tongue!!!!!
3. If at all possible, try to turn the person on their side if you see they might be choking, by doing this any saliva or blood from biting their tongue will come out of their mouth instead of down their throat.
4.  Try to clear the area around the person, hard or sharp objects could pose a major risk.

Thank you for reading.  I know this is a huge post and many who read it wont think twice.  But if this has touched you in any way, please do what you feel you can.  I am hoping that one day we will find a cure, that no one will have to have any more moments of their life lost to a seizure.

I will leave you with some pictures.  I have contemplated on whether to post her picture of her first EEG.  I feel like it would put an image in your mind that would hopefully light a fire but at the same time, it saddens me.  I can see the fear on her face and for that very fact I don't feel comfortable posting it.



This was taken the day after, we were still in the hospital and had gone down to their play room.  she was making a picture to bring home to Grandma.





This was earlier this year at a Purple Day Celebration, put on by a wonderful neurologist in this area.  she was able to meet other kids who have Epilepsy just like her!!!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Back To School Help

Our school for the military kids is located on base and from time to time will have churches or businesses donate stuff, mostly to the school but sometimes for the military members as well.  This past week, one of the churches in the area, Saddleback, put together 600 backpacks filled with school supplies and handed them out to the incoming kids.  I have a real hard time accepting charity.  But I also know that now we have 2 kids who will be in school and money is tight so we took the opportunity and I am ever so grateful!!!  Kendall doesn't need much since she will only be in pre-school (plus she wont be attending the school that Cass goes to anyway) so we only picked up one backpack.  It is amazing!!  The backpack itself is super nice and will hold up for the whole year plus the supplies, it was really nice!!!!  Now all Cass wants to do is decorate the outside, which is not such a bad idea when there are 600 other backpacks that look the same!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Power Of Prayer

How many people have had something happen to them  in a physical nature and prayed for God to heal them and had it happen?  I know many a people out there in the blog world may not be Christians and may not believe in the healing power of God but hopefully reading this will impact someone in such a way that they may pick up that dusty book in their drawer called the Bible and read how awesome our God is! 

I haven't posted a lot about my medical issues I have been dealing with lately but it has had me enduring numerous tests and on different meds.  Nothing thus far has turned up and no meds have really helped.  I like to think that I am a good Christian girl but it seems with everything going on lately I have not taken the time to sit down and pray.  Not for me and not for others and that is not a good thing.  I normally have a routine and have not been sticking to it as of late.  But this whole time I have been dealing with my issues I have had that sense that something was telling me to pray to God.  Instead of looking to my doctors, look to the ultimate healer.  And trust me, I have given things to God before and asked for things and they haven't happened.  In those moments I don't think that He is ignoring me, I know He hears but He also knows what is best for me, what will make me stronger in Him.  But a couple of days ago I started praying that God would heal me.  That whatever is going on, He would heal me so that I could live a normal life, being able to be the best mom to my kids that I can be, because with my ailments, there are times I have had to "check out" of the whole mommy duties.  And I can honestly say that since I have been handing it over to God, I have not had any of the feelings I have had before.  That is not to say that they wont come back r that God wants these to go away to make room for something else, but as of now, I am feeling amazing!!!  Many people who don't believe can chalk it up to anything medical.  Maybe something in my body chemistry has changed, maybe I have done something else with my lifestyle to make that change.  But I know the real reason. I prayed to an amazing God and He had been waiting for me to call upon Him.  To seek out His medical advice.  Our God is an amazing God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I pray that if you have a personal relationship with God that you nuture it and care for it.  And for those of you who may not have that relationship, I pray that one day you will.  That whatever is holding you back will not defeat you and you will give in and listen, He can change your life!!!!!

First Ponytail

Our first two girls had hair that was long enough on their first birthdays that they each have their first year pictures with hair in itty bitty pigtails.  They weren't much of a pigtail but it was super cute!!!  Hayley has decided that she wants to take her sweet time in growing any sort of hair!  I get annoyed when we have to leave the house and have tons of hair to do and Will reminds me that one day I will have Hayley's to do as well and will complain more.  But for now, I will complain that I want the girl to grow some darn hair!!!  She is 17 months old and this was her first ponytail, can you even call it a ponytail?  We ran errands that day and a lady at the store did one of those pity looks and said "awww, look at that little hair-do".....yeah well, it had to be done!!  I cannot wait and I want my girl to have pigtails and bows!!!!  So until then, it is Aladdin style ponies!!!  Flash forward to this time next year when I complain of the tons of hair I am having to do before leaving the house :)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Lady Gaga Inspired


Who said that Lady Gaga is an original?  My kids have been dressing like this since 2002.....and it makes me laugh each and every time!!!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Cruisin'

Our little one has been trying to walk for quite a while now but recently she has been getting the hang of it.  So, without further adieu, I present to you some cute little toddling walking by Hayley.  And try not to listen to me nagging my husband to let go of her hand, its what I do best :)


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Summer Splashin'

What better way to cool down during the summer heat than a day playing on the slip-n-slide.  Not that the weather has been horridly hot by any means but we do get some days where it is nice and warm in the sun.  So, our neighbor got out her slip-n-slide and my girls had some fun.

I don't think Hayley knew what to think at first.  But after getting her toes a little wet, the girl was in love.....



She stayed down at the pool end for the most part but there was also some crawling and slipping which brought on tons of baby giggles.  And of course, the sisters had to get involved too.



Do you notice my horrified baby covering her face so as not to get splashed by her crazy sisters?  Do you also notice the heavy artillery being held by the oldest sibling?  Poor baby girl never saw it coming!!! 

 And now I pose a question.  Has anyone ever had their child break out in a horrible rash from being in the grass?  The first day we were on the slip-n-slide the baby was napping but my two oldest has a rash all over their legs.  Theirs looked like blade marks though so I knew exactly what it was.  The day the baby was out there, she got red bumps all up and down her legs, some on her arms and some on her back.  It was just bumps and I was so close to taking her to the ER for chicken pox.  I did give her an oatmeal bath and put soothing lotion all over her and it was better the next day but the girl looked infected for a good 2 days.  Is that normal?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Moving Up

We are slowly moving from babyhood into toddlerhood in our house these days.  I had loathed the highchair for quite some time, mainly for the fact that the thing was huge.  The legs jetted out from under the seat and could only fit in certain places in the house.  And since ti was on wheels I would find the girls wanting to push their sister around in it.  Then our little bit go bigger and was able to push with her legs and have screws come flying out in the back of the seat.  I had horrid images of her flying out of her seat and us rushing to the ER.  So, with all the negatives to that chair, we got rid of the highchair and got one of the ones you sit at the table.  I must admit, I cried seeing our old chair on the curb on trash day.  That thing may have been a nuisance but it also lovingly held our 2 smallest girls through their baby years.  I know I am not the only one who gets emotional seeing some of their babies things go.  And Hayley loves her new seat, she feels like such a big girl being able to sit at the table.  The first day in there she was looking around all goofy grinned trying to make eye contact with her bigger sisters trying to bond big girl style.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Walking Through Grief

Sunday morning came with horrible news, my Grandfather who my family lovingly referred to as Papa since before I was born went to be with our good Lord in Heaven.  He had been sick for years and recently took a turn for the worse so we all knew it would happen soon but we didn't expect it to be so soon.  My Papa was a strong man, a family man.  A man who loved his wife, children and grandchildren and who loved to keep his Norwegian roots deeply rooted within his offspring.  I have so many wonderful memories with him and don't know how this life is going to be without him.  I do know that it will be a long walk down grief road, a road filled with wishes of hugs and words of advice that will no longer be.  When you say your prayers at night, please remember to send a quick one for me and my family so the road we are now walking down may not be as bumpy as it feels right now.


Thursday, August 5, 2010

Sweet Baby Curls


None of my girls have ever had curly hair, so I am loving having these around while they last!!!!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Chocolate Crinkle Cookies

The other day I was in a baking kind of mood.  I had no clue what I wanted to do so I asked our middle one what she would like.  Cookies of course!  So, we found a new cookie we had never made before and they turned out super yummy!!!!  So, making it's first debut in our household, I give you the Chocolate Crinkle Cookie.....


What you will need:
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla
4 ounces unsweetened baking chocolate, melted and cooled
4 large eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup powdered sugar

Mix the sugar, oil, vanilla and chocolate in a large bowl.  Mix in eggs, one at a time.  Stir in flour, baking powder and salt.  Cover and refrigerate at least 3 hours.
Heat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease cookie sheet with shortening ( I did not do this, I used parchment paper and they turned out just fine).
Drop dough by teaspoonfuls into powdered sugar; roll around to coat.  Shape into balls.  Place about 2 inches apart on cookie sheet.
Bake 10 to 12 minutes (I did 11 and they were perfect) or until almost no indentation remains when touched.  Remove from cookie sheet.  Cool on wire rack. 



YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Mortified

With all my medical stuff that is happening lately, my doc has ordered quite a few tests.  She is basically going down her list of "could be's", starting with the worst and so on and so forth.  We had a scare with the test for blood clots in my lungs but it turns out they are all clear.  So, she has moved on to my heart.  Today I had an ultrasound done on my heart.  It went ok and am hoping to have the results back soon.  However, the outfit they make you wear to have this test done is horrid.  A well built man who loves his abs must have created this sucker.  I was thinking I would have a hospital gown or something similar.  Boy was I ever wrong!  This thing, this tiny thing was made out of tissue paper.  I was so scared of ripping it in 2 and being completely naked by the time to technician came in.  With the size of this thing though, I might as well have been naked.  The thing barely came together in the front and you couldn't pull it shut, again, tissue paper.  And not only did it not come together all the way in the front but it went maybe 2 inches below the chest line.  Like one of those half shirts from the eighties, only made out of tissue paper and lord knows I am not looking like I did in the eighties.  My muffin top was out in full force for all the world to see.  I am sure the technician was able to find where to put her doppler by following the map laying before her, otherwise known as my pasty skin riddled with proof of 3 babies grown inside.  Like having a heart ultrasound isn't bad enough but they need to make you nervous before they even enter the room.  I was mortified!!!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

How Do You Prepare To Say Goodbye?

I can remember sitting in my Grandpa's office, pretending to write a very important note with his pen that was filled with shredded $1 bills.  I remember wondering why one earth anyone would want to shred money!!  I remember typing on my grandmothers typewriter and having my grandpa come up form behind me and give my ponytail a tug and telling me to never cut my hair because long hair is gorgeous.  We lived at my grandparents house for a large part of my childhood.  I got to sit next to my grandpa, ok, I feel weird saying grandpa because he has and always will be papa to me.  So, I got to sit next to papa at every meal.  It was wonderful being able to sit next to him, until he ate his stinky cheese or herring, ugh, the smell.  But now, I wish I could sit next to him, I would sit through many bad smells just to have him next to me at the table.  About 7 years ago my papa started to get really sick.  They said he wouldn't have long to live but here we are, he is still alive but he is not my papa I remember.  And today I got the phone call.  Hospice has moved in and he is in a hospital bed.  The RN says it may only be weeks by what she sees but then again, she is not God and God will take him when He feels like it is time.  So I sit here and remember him.  Remember him being strong.  Remember how proud he was when I walked in the living room in my winter formal gown.  I wish I could scan the picture and show you.  I am standing next to my maemaw and papa, we are by the Christmas tree and they have their arms around me and big smiles on their faces.  My memories are what I am trying to hold on to so I don't completely lose it.  Having a maemaw without a papa just isn't right.  How do I let him go?  I am not ok with death.  I know he is suffering and it is better for him but I want to be selfish and plead with God to not take him.  I was always so happy saying I had never had a family member die.  Then came my brother and now my papa is going to leave us.  It just doesn't seem fair.  So, how does someone prepare to say goodbye?  I want to hug him and hold on to him and let him know how much I love him and how much his presence in my childhood made me who I am today.  That his stubborn Norwegian blood runs deep within me and we are much more similar than he ever will know.  That I wish I could change my name to his last name so I could tell people all about him when they ask how the heck I got the last name Midtsjo.......confused on how to pronounce that one?  Ha, I love it!!!  I love him!!!!  I am dreading the phone call letting me know he is gone and until then, how do I deal?!
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