Yesterday was my biopsy day. After my last appointment I knew this was the next step so I had psyched myself up for the needle in my mouth followed by the clipping of my tissue, lol. I don't think I psyched myself up enough though. We got to the doctor and checked in and had a nice waiting period. I don't like waiting when I am nervous, it just makes it worse. Once we got in to see the doctor she felt the lump under my chin and said she was concerned about it and would like to remove it with surgery. Then she looked inside my mouth and said she would like to biopsy that one today. Not shocking, I knew it was coming. So, she took me into the next room and started setting up. I saw the needle and all the fun tools. I admit, I was super nervous. I was praying over and over in my head for God to calm my fears and just let me get through this. Oh, and along with the doc was a resident who of course wanted to feel everything she felt, not too fond of student doctors in that type of situation and another guy, I think he was a nurse or something. Anyways, she said she would start with a numbing spray that tasted like banana. Lets just say that's the worst tasting banana I have ever had in my life!!!!! After that was done she said that the needle was next. I asked her to stop (surprised?) I don't think it was so much the needle, that part is a quick pain. I think she over sprayed the numbing stuff and a lot went down my throat and I started to feel like I couldn't breathe or swallow. It was just a horrid feeling and I didn't think I could handle having her in my mouth for 10 minutes (that's how long she said it would take) If I had a hard time breathing just sitting there, her hands in my mouth wouldn't make it any easier. I tried reasoning with her (do I really need this biopsied?), lol, and we ultimately came to the conclusion that since she already was scheduling me for surgery to remove the lump under my chin, that she would just add the biopsy in my throat all on the same day, I would be put under and never know the difference (until I wake up in pain at least, lol). So, we scheduled my surgery for the 3rd of February. Next Monday though I have to go in for a CT scan where they inject me with dyes and crap and see if they can see what this lump is before surgery. And since I am allergic to bee stings I have to be on special meds for 24 hours leading up to it so I don't have an allergic reaction during the scan. It all just sounds like too much fun doesn't it? I am actually very nervous to be put under. I don't like the feeling of knowing I am going to sleep because I am being drugged and then of course the thought of, what if I don't wake up? I know I shouldn't go there but I am paranoid, you all know that :) So anyway, any type of prayers would be nice. Mostly to calm my fears, I think I can handle finding out what it is, if anything at all, the procedures are just wearing on my right now.
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