Putting it in Perspective

So, this whole week me and all three of my girls have been sick.  It started with the baby which then got passed to my oldest, then my middle, then me.  Me?!!  I never get sick!!  But I did this time, and it hit with a vengeance.  Picture me with crazy hair that hadn't been brushed in almost a whole 24 hours crawling in sweats to get bowls of cereal for my girls so they wouldn't starve until daddy got home.  Yes, a good time was had by all.  We started to all feel a little better, or at least be functional by yesterday and good thing because we had to drive almost an hour to Long Beach for our oldests neurology appointment.  That was when I has my moment.  You know, the kind where you tell yourself how bad your life is right now and wishes it could be some other way so maybe for a little bit you feel better by sulking?  (please agree and say you do that too time and again, please don't let me put something like that out there and feel alone, please don't make me sulk again).  I just kept thinking how life would be a little easier had we all not been sick, that life would be easier on my daughter if she didn't have this obstacle called Epilepsy and it would be better on me if our insurance offered to pay a good neurologist who works only 20 minutes from the house as opposed to over an hour, plus throw in traffic, ugh.  Yes, I was having a great moment.  So, as my kiddos slept I went online to read some blogs.  I started with my normal and fave blogs and that's when I read about this woman.  Her name is Katie and boy did her story make me feel like a moron for wanting to sulk in my minor problems.  Not to say Epilepsy is minor in any way, but we have it under control for now and have been living in that groove for a while so I feel like it is just a daily thing right now.  The first blog post on her page was about text messages between her and her son Henry and how she had been looking back on them recently.  Ok, hmmm, didn't think too much into it but she writes so beautifully that I was pulled in.  Hours later I would find myself on the couch reading and crying and praying for this woman and her family.  The text messages she was re-reading?  They were from her son who would end up in the hospital and later dying.....at age 18!  Granted, her son had some major drug addictions, but the beauty is that she doesn't sugar coat that.  She knows he had an issue and take full responsibility for his actions.  But  because of this addiction, he would would end up in the hospital, beaten by some maniacs who took advantage of a sick young boy.  It is devastating.  She at one point wrote that at times when she was home alone with her newborn baby, that she would drop to the floor and wail for the loss of her son.  Ugh, that feeling.  I remember coming back to California and finally having it hit me that my brother was actually gone, that I would never see him or speak to him ever again and I had one of those moments.  The kind where I physically had to grab onto something because I felt like I was hit in the gut and the only thing you can do is scream.  The pain I felt losing my brother was and continues to be tremendous, I cannot imagine my own child!  The child I carried in my body for 9 months, the child who I delivered into this world, the child who depended on me from day 1 to nurture and keep them safe from harm.  I can go on and on about her and her story, but to get the full affect, I recommend reading her story.  Go to  her blog when you have some time and bring some tissue.  And if you are the praying kind, lift some prayers up.  This family is hurting, they are broken and they need prayers!! I couldn't stop thinking of her son the whole day.  I went to bed with his image in my head.  Her son will continue to live on I believe, within his brothers and sisters and hopefully within others who are going through something, and upon hearing his story will change they way they are living.  I really don't know the perfect way or respectful way to end this.  I have never met this family but I feel like I know them quite well after reading their story, so I guess I will end with love.  God Bless the Granju family and rest in peace Henry!!!